For the first time since high school, a professor has asked my class to not use the bathroom. She claims its too distracting. The standing up, sitting back down, opening the door, closing it again, walking through the aisle. All of this would hinder learning, so she says. What’s really distracting to me is having to pee all throughout class and having to hold it in.

Honestly though, my biggest problem with this hasn’t even been having to use the bathroom in the traditional sense. During one class, I started having a panic attack. Normally, I would have left the room to “go to the bathroom” without anyone questioning me, but in this case, I would have to out myself in order to leave. In order to take a break and regulate, I would need to bring attention to myself, n the moment where the last thing I wanted was to bring attention to myself. Instead, I spent the rest of class trying to suppress my physical response so that no one would notice. No learning happened in that class.

Going to the bathroom is often used as short hand to take a break, change a tampon, get some water, take a call, or otherwise deal with your messy life and body. It gives people a way to get out of a space without further questions. This is probably part of my professor’s fear. That we’ll just walk the halls or scroll through Instagram. But so what? Why does it matter if we take five minutes to ourselves? Whether its to slack off or to handle a crisis shouldn’t be your business.

The disabled body is often unpredictable. The abled body is unpredictable! Using the bathroom before class does not guarantee that an emergency won’t happen. Sometimes that emergency is easily communicated – “I REALLY have to pee” – and sometimes explaining yourself would require sharing private information. Especially in a class room, where you may not want to come out as disabled to your professor, your friends, and people you barely know. Any and every space should have an escape route, a way to get out of the room, conversation, lecture, without interrogation, without extra attention, so that when you feel like you’re gonna cry, when you’re in pain, or when you need to take a shit, you can. The bathroom often fills that role and by taking it away, this professor is not only an annoyance, but has forced disabled people into outing themselves or suffering in silence.