Caution: No animals were seriously injured over the course of this story. The stunts performed in this story was performed by professionals , and stuntmen(like myself ofc hehe).

I know for a fact , we’ve all experienced a phenomena where we are placed in situations where we have a choice to be called to action , or stray from the danger. Situations where we are persuaded by our moral compass of what’s good and bad ,some may call it civic duty. Yet in this case I’m very conflicted in regards to what my actions warranted.

It starts with a Siberian Husky named Max, one fine afternoon when I got off the bus this beautiful white and black ,furry dog approached me in a manner so playful yet with no owner around I can only think he was lost and had ran away. Now if you know anything about Siberian Huskies you know that in their minds any sudden movement towards them is a sign of play , and lord knows huskies know how to play. Now imagine a young 5’11 male running miles around the neighborhood attempting to tame a wild Pokémon. I wish I could attach videos where I’m running after Max and he hits me with the meanest juke , stealing my ankles causing me to fall onto the ground of someone’s drive way. As I progressed more and more throughout my neighborhood I gained the attention of many passerby’s and bystanders who were in their cars and those on their walks would take notice and care for the wild Pokemon(my new name for Max) as he dodged every poke ball there is I could of possibly threw at him. For instance , we would catch Max then with one slight twist of the neck we lose grip of his collar and he’s off to the races as if he is a horse racing for money.

Now this is where it gets conflicting , Max decided it was a good idea to run full speed towards a busy highway. Now when I say busy I mean busy, and Max being naïve; since he was a puppy for sure , didn’t know any better. That we weren’t chasing him in hopes of playing with him , yet with intentions of saving him. Turns out Max ended up getting hit by a car , then sprints full dash into the woods that connects to our neighborhood. Thankfully , the vet was right off the side of the highway, seeing the whole thing unfold they rush out to try an aid Max. Yet he had already ran-off , thus a man hunt started for our little Pokemon. The hunt went on for about 30 minutes until , we tracked him to a house we suspected Max ran away from.

This is where it gets even crazier, when we knocked on the door for the owners of Max , they never knew Max left and that Max was home the whole time. After getting hit by the car Max ran back home. To our surprise and dismay , me and a fellow good Samaritan did not know what to do or say except feel like this.

So I must ask , was it really better for me to step up and try and be the hero for Max , possibly causing him to get by a car. Or should I have minded my business and let him roam. This is for you guys to answer to me!!

Do you know yourself? I know I know it sounds a little redundant, but genuinely I want you to take the time and ask yourself do you truly know yourself? Do you know what makes you happy? what brings you peace? Do you know how to deal with the emotions that arise in your body ? Do you know why you feel these things? I for one would like to think I do or at least I thought so. Ever since I was a child I had to deal with my emotions. As I grew up I honed my skills and began to realize what’s important and learned new lessons about myself. I began to see emotions as different means of energy that overwhelms the body, yet due to my mindset I would always achieve my default state, happiness. I don’t know what it was, but I would always maintain a positive state of mind, no matter the situation ,the problem , or the demons I face. I guess I was forced into this way since my brother is 6 years older than me so relating on things whilst we were children was kind of hard, once I reached about 5/6, I believe he was over my cuteness and realized my annoyance. Yet through this from a young age I found myself subconsciously maturing mentally gradually and gradually. I would be doing what Carl Jung refers to as shadow work, which is essentially diving into the unconscious substance that shapes our everyday thoughts , emotions , and behaviors.

Shadow work pushes you to challenge the repressed factors that reside within your psyche, that can be caused due to childhood trauma , and other traumas that arose in your life that you bottled up and pushed deep to the back of your mind. Question such as these :

Through these questions , you gain a sense of reassurance and self-confidence. I know everyone has been through hardship especially during these past two years with the Corona pandemic , however I feel as if you are able to identify and align yourself with the peace and joys of your life , you can overcome any struggle. Any social problem as you yourself will know your truths.

With that I would like to ask again; do you truly know yourself? If you don’t know I can overtly advocate trying out shadow work. You’ll truly acknowledge your pain , passions , and slay your demons.

Side Note: If you like Kid Cudi , this album was one for the books.

There are many things in life that are good for the soul, and I have a few of those, but the one thing I will go in depth upon is food, and my love for it. To begin with let it be known that I like all types of food, and it is no hyperbole to say I would eat almost any and everything within reason. Being born into an African home played a great role in my appreciation for food because there is a surplus of delectable African dishes, and the list never ends. From breakfast to dinner, as a child I was always beyond content, and I can say the same is true now, as I am a young adult. You may or may not have heard the African stereotype/joke that says “there’s always rice at home”. Which in itself is pretty self explanatory. This is because rice is the base for many African dishes, as it can be eaten with so many different stews, beans, and by itself, hence meals like fried and jollof rice. Whether it be a regular day, or a special occasion, in an African household, there is always bound to be rice served as a meal. As to be expected, African food is not all I eat, since there are so many great dishes to be consumed in the world. I have developed a love for pasta, with my favorites being lasagna, chicken alfredo and even your run of the mill shrimp scampi. My love for lasagna is recent and was brought about by my brother who sought out to be the house chef, and his dishes only get better. Another recent obsession of mine has been IHOP, mainly because of the promo it has throughout the month of October (probably Halloween based) that allows you to get an omelets and 3 buttermilk pancakes for the small price of $6 which is something you just cannot beat. As a result I’ve made it my mission to eat there at least 2-3 times a week for as long as the promo lasts. Sadly the promo ends soon and it pains me to say so, but I hope this and all I have said can prove to you what I will do, for the love of food.

Animal Crossing’s popularity at the start of lockdown was no surprise. As people struggled to interact with others, having a peaceful game that involved becoming friends with your neighbors and meeting new people helped to make the quarantine a little less difficult. The parasocial interactions the game provided were comforting.

Activism has many tactics that can be effective, but I’d argue that one of the most important tools for movements is the media. Politicians ignored the 504 protests when it was only on San Francisco news stations, but once it went national, they had to cave to the pressure. I think the primary reason that Crip Camp begins it’s documentary with footage of the camp is for the opportunity for parasocial interaction to occur between the viewers and the campers. Part of why good representation for minorities of any kind is important is that people partially form their opinions of these groups through parasocial interaction in the media they consume. The campers are humanized in the documentary, and treated with respect, and so those who don’t know many disabled people may have their opinions of them changed while watching. 

Back to lockdown, I think that now more than ever, good representation in the media is vital to activist movements. Without the opportunity to socialize as we once did, there are less chances for people even in diverse areas to meet and learn about people who are different from them. Stereotypes are sometimes dismissed as harmless jokes, but even if people know that they don’t reflect reality, interacting with them enough will subconsciously color one’s perception, or at the very least create negative associations. Defining “good” representation is difficult, and is likely something that should be determined by those involved with movements that would be invested in the positive representation of their group. 

I love shopping. I love clothes. I love looking at outfit inspiration on Pinterest, TikTok, and Instagram. Whenever a new trend comes out or a new aesthetic becomes popular I want to restock my wardrobe with as much of it as possible. There are really only two reasons why I can’t do that. One, obviously, being that I am an unemployed college student with no money. The second, the one that I will be discussing, is that Nothing. Fits. Me.

POV: You walk into your favorite clothing store looking for a new pair of jeans. The ones you are wearing are a size 14, in a boyfriend cut. If you shop in the mens department you’re probably thinking what the hell does a size 14 mean? I cannot answer that for you. I don’t even think the people who make and size the clothes could answer that. Because when you get to the jeans section, you are overwhelmed with choices: there are different washes, lengths, styles, and fits. Some are skinny, curvy skinny, boyfriend, mom jean, loose mom jean, straight, flared…. And I can guarantee you that if the store even carries a size 14, which is so rare, none of those pairs will fit you the same way.

Shouldn’t the size of pants be based on waist size and hip size? So why, when I have a size 14 that I bought from one store, do I have to buy a 16 at another store? One time even the 16 was too tight in the waist. But the problem is, the higher the size, the longer the pant legs are. So even if the store sold a 16 and it fit me, the legs would be too long!

One quick google search on this topic brought me to a Time article from 2016 that says “brands have shifted their metrics to make shoppers feel skinnier—so much so that a women’s size 12 in 1958 is now a size 6.” Um, what?

I will never forget when my sister expressed to me that she was “getting fat” because she no longer fits in size 00 jeans and has to go up to a 0. I know we all know that the fashion industry is damaging our body image and self-esteem, but according to the article, when “shoppers prefer to buy clothing labeled with small sizes because it boosts our confidence,” it becomes even more jarring how deep the problem goes. This tactic, which I never heard of until I googled it, is referred to as “vanity sizing.” So that explains why different stores advertise clothes that fit different as the same size. Kind of.

I think it is unrealistic for the fashion industry to market clothes as “this size will fit all.” It just doesn’t make sense that we can size our clothes in a universal way because not all bodies look the same. We all have different proportions what make it impossible to have one pair of jeans fit a lot of people perfectly. I know this. I know that jeans are never sized correctly. So why do I still feel bad about myself when the jeans won’t go over my thighs?

Clothes are meant to fit us. We are not meant to fit in clothes.

Edit: I found this TikTok on this topic that I LOVED and I encourage you to watch it and maybe check out their other content!

Revenge Bedtime Procrastination is a phenomenon in which people put off going to sleep to engage in activities that they don’t have time for during the day. Essentially, people who do not have much control over their day time life would refuse to sleep early in order to regain some sense of freedom during late night hours.

I most definitely engage in revenge bedtime procrastination.

The late hours are my precious hours. It’s quiet, peaceful, nobody is calling for me, my responsibilities are asleep, and I can do whatever I want and feel however I want. I spend many nights/early mornings watching films, binging shows, crocheting, and on social media. During these hours, I didn’t have to be a student, a part-time employee, or a family member. I believed the control and freedom I felt was completely worth the expense of sleep. But once the day hit, my late hour activities did not help me endure my lack of sleep.

“Revenge” is the crucial descriptor that differentiates this phenomenon. Not all procrastinations of going to bed refer to this circumstance. Some procrastinations can be staying up late partying with friends. In this sense, you’re making a good deal with yourself where the fun becomes worth the suffering you endure later. But revenge procrastination doesn’t compensate for the exhaustion and sleep deprivation. It might feel like soothing yourself, but you’re actually “punishing” yourself.

Be aware, revenge bedtime procrastination as a regular habit can hurt your ability to function during the days and effect your physical/mental health over time. The potential negative effects include anxiety, depression, difficulty concentrating, high blood pressure, weakened immunity, weight gain, and/or worse memory.

It is important for your body and mentality to prioritize your sleep. Assess your schedules, schedule time for yourself, and/or create a nighttime routine.

I’m sure all of us have some experience with makeup. Cosmetics. Facepaint. Etc.

Whether you choose to wear it, or know someone who does, makeup such as eyeliner, mascara, blush, among other things, can be use to accentuate your natural features or change the way you look entirely. But should your self worth be reliant on your makeup? I’d assume many people would say no, but I for one have definitely experienced body dysmorphia when it came to seeing myself without eyeliner. The large bulbous eyes I once thought looked normal, looked completely naked and alien without thick dark strokes of black liner around them. I would purposely squint and worsen my eyesight on purpose if I wasn’t wearing eyeliner in public as a middle schooler, so my eyes might look more defined. Why on earth did I do that lmfao…Anyways, the eyeliner that I put on gave me a way to change my face in an attainable way. I was in control, and while it did make me do some questionable things, I had the power to put it on and make myself look the way I wanted if I chose to. Instagram and Snapchat filters are an entirely different thing.

It’s happened to us all, you’re innocently scrolling through your phone when you see a beautiful person on social media. The nice hair, the sharp features, perfect teeth, it’s all there. And you think “Damn, I wish I looked like that”. So you slide over to the camera and take a look. Meh….but then you put on a filter. And your eyes light up. Beautiful skin, amazing makeup, the eyes the lips, the nose. This is what you wanted to look like. This is what you should look like. You snap a couple photos, admiring yourself in the camera. In fact you start to feel more confident, this is basically what you look like anyways. It looks good! That is until the filter comes off, and a completely different face appears. Your face… your actual face. Without the filter. “Who the absolute hell is that ugly fuck staring back at me.”. But you didn’t think of yourself that way before. Before you just thought you were meh. Social media filters change the shapes and angles of our faces to often give us Eurocentric features, and k-beauty inspired makeup overlaid on top of that. The way our faces look through these filters are not attainable through makeup alone, they require extensive plastic surgery, fillers, and botox to name a few things. There is no way physically possible that every single social media user can have similar faces, yet when it comes to most influencers they do. And the truth is, many of them use not only extensive makeup, but face changing filters as well. The absolute shit this would have caused me to feel in middle school is immeasurable, but I can’t imagine what it’s doing to other young people online at the moment. In fact it still causes extreme body dysmorphia to see myself once the filter comes off. Oh well, it’s just something we have to live with now I guess.

If it’s one thing i’ve learned these past couple weeks, it’s that some things just won’t get done; and thats ok. After being given 5 midterms that all include multi-page essays, AND having homework that is due, i’m at the point where i’m asking myself questions like: Do I get some sleep before my 8 hour shift, or do I do this assignment? Do i take my ADD medicine all week so i can get everything done and feel emotionally and mentally numb, or do i not take it and fall significantly behind? Do I go to my last class, or do I go do something that doesn’t require me to be productive for at least two seconds to maintain my sanity? I don’t know where this comes from, but if I don’t get all of my assignments done I feel like a failure.

Since I was young, I was always taught “treat others how you would like to be treated.” I believe that’s what we consider to be called the “Golden Rule”. With that being said, I do not see this with everyone encounter. Society has created a stigma of treating some people like they are abnormal or weird due to a disability that they might have whether it is physical or mental.

When I got to campus I pretty much had my friend group already situated. I knew who I would be around and we knew we all would make an effort to be there for each other. Collectively we were cohesive, that cohesion carried us through about 8 weeks of the semester then I decided to try something different. There was a boy I met on campus, he did not seem to talk to a lot of people but I decided I wanted to be nice. I went up to him and spoke to him, we talked for a little bit and once we started speaking it pretty much poured out of him. This sense of all it takes is communicating to someone that you don’t know to make them feel welcomed.

After a few times we would randomly bump into each other here and there. We would communicate and catch up a little. Doing this we built great rapport to the point that I started introducing him to my other friends. Having the great friends that I do they embraced as if we knew him for years. It got to the point where we exchanged numbers.

All this to say that he has a social disability that many people would see and not speak to him. However, when I saw that he was a kid constantly by himself I felt obliged to reach out to him. Whether he has a disability or not, that does not make him any less human. Treating him with the same respect and love I would treat any new person I met. I believe in life we have strayed too far from the “Golden Rule” that it seems like hate has spread through everyone. However at the end of the day, everyone has a friend in me.