black women

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Looking Good and Surviving the Struggle

As a Black woman, I feel like I’m always pushing myself to do better whether it’s excelling in school, handling multiple jobs, or meeting life’s demands. But along with all of this, society expects me to stay strong, composed, and, above all, to “look good” no matter the circumstances. “Being Black and Looking Good While Chronically Ill” reminded me of how “looking good” often makes people overlook the emotional struggle behind the polished surface. While I don’t have a chronic illness, I can definitely relate to the pressure of presenting a flawless image for everyone else’s comfort. The burden of “looking good” isn’t just about appearance, it’s about hiding our real selves. We’re expected to show up as perfect versions of ourselves, and anything less risks being judged or dismissed. The emotional toll this takes is real. It’s draining to keep up a facade of strength when, inside, I’m just trying to survive like everyone else. I sometimes wonder: If I let my guard down and show my vulnerable side, will people still see me as capable? Or will they think I’m less valuable because I no longer fit the image they’re comfortable with?

The pressure to always be strong is exhausting. In “You Are Not Entitled to Our Deaths”, the author talks about how society demands marginalized people, especially Black women, to sacrifice their own needs for the comfort of others. This really resonated with me because I’ve felt that exact pressure to hold it all together, no matter how much it costs me. But through these readings, I’m starting to realize that real strength doesn’t mean hiding my true self. It’s about showing both my resilience and vulnerability. Let’s stop pretending to be perfect. True strength lies in embracing both our power and our humanity—because we are enough, exactly as we are. And maybe, just maybe, it’s time to stop pretending for others and start living for ourselves.

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Why Does No One Hear The Screams Of Black Women ? (Patricia Hill Collins v.s R.Kelly )

r-kelly-cellphone-video-sweat   Understanding the complexity of African American politics in today’s conversation of sexual violence is vital as the politics of this community shapes how the group responds to African American public figures (mostly males) committing these acts of violence. Recently the docuseries on the singer/songwriter Robert Kelly known as R.Kelly has revealed information about his past and present that shows he has sexually abused past partners and acted violently towards multiple women. This information is not necessarily new as articles from the 1990’s to the early 2000’s noted that R.Kelly had been  depicted Kelly as a sexual predator. In 2008 he had a criminal trial has he was being charged for child pornography but once again slipped through the public’s dismay and remained a loved public figure. This acceptance of people such as Kelly leaves me with deep worry as the women who he assaulted still live in fear and live without justice. Acts of sexual violence such as rape are looked over when the victims are African American women, we see this as the most high profile cases of rape have involved White women though “…approximately 60% of Black girls experience sexual abuse by age 18. According to a 2014 study, about 22% of Black women reported being raped and 41% experienced other forms of sexual violence.” ( EndRapeOnCampus.org). Continue reading →

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“I Liked Your Hair Better Straight”

tumblr_n7r6vgKPpR1t6dcj7o1_500.jpgI’m getting tired of hearing that….

Continue reading →

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Alright, Let’s Be Honest America: Black Women’s Bodies Are “Inappropriate”

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I know what you’re thinking.

“Oh my god, how could to title your post that?” Continue reading →

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Spoiler Alert for No Good Deeds

A few weeks ago I enjoyed the movie No Good Deed. I was delighted to add this film to my short list of those that don’t typecast black bodies. This movie was a suspense, not a “black suspense” but a gut checking suspense. After admiring Taraji Henson and Idris Elba awesome performance I approved No Good Deed distribution to homes of Americans and those overseas. I wondered about that individual that has never encountered a person of color and thought, here is a movie that you can watch. Continue reading →

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Viola Davis: Oscar Loss, Natural Hair Win

Viola Davis, an award winning black actress, recently starred in the movie The Help. At the 2012 Oscars, Viola appeared on the Red Carpet glowing and debuting her natural hair. The media, of course, made this a into a huge story. When asked what made her decide to wear her natural hair to the Oscars, she stated that h

er husband encouraged her to do so.

I believe that Viola Davis was radiant and confident that night. She was absolutely beautiful. Many black women and young girls appreciated seeing natural hair on the red carpet. Wendy Williams, radio talk show host turned television host, did not feel the same way. On her self titled talk show, Wendy Williams insinuated that the Davis’ TWA (teeny weeny afro) made her look mannish, like the history teacher in the 70’s sitcom “Room 222”. At another time, Williams stated that Davis’ hair was just not professional. Many black women were appalled at her statements. They felt that Williams was attacking black women. As you can see in the picture on the left, Davis display of natural beauty was inspirational to black women and girls; and, Williams blatantly shot it down on national television to an audience who probably does not understand natural black hair to begin with.

Black hair has so much politics attached to it. In the past, black women have felt restricted by white beauty standards of straight or wavy hair that is often unnatural to them. I, like many others, am appalled that a black woman would scorn another black woman for displaying her natural beauty. “Natural” hair is our hair. Kinky, curly, wavy, coarse, whatever, it is our hair. I am encouraged by the fact that so many black women have decided to transgress white beauty standards and free themselves from chemical relaxers, letting their own unique beauty shine. Viola Davis certainly took a stand at the Oscars and became even more of an inspiration to black women.

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Hollywood’s Thin, New Jennifer Hudson

After reading this article in Huffington Post and seeing many, many commercials with a svelte, toned Jennifer Hudson, I wondered how she managed to lose so much weight. Weight Watchers and exercise helped Hudson loose a huge eighty pounds in a healthy manner. The  formerly “larger than life” singer and actress is now a glowing size zero. Hollywood could not be happier.

Plus sized women in Hollywood are not easy to come by, especially when these women are black. Hollywood’s black female superstars are sexy like Halle Berry or extremely curvaceous like Beyonce. Where does a plus sized black woman like Jennifer Hudson fit in? Does out singing Beyonce in Dreamgirls mean nothing?

In my opinion, Jennifer Hudson had not been portrayed as other black women before she dropped eighty pounds. Yes, she was talented and award winning, but not beautiful. Her beauty has only come from her weight loss. Now, we can marvel over her thin waist and curvy hips along with her amazing singing voice.

But, which is better? Should a black female celebrity have to choose between being famous for her talent or her body? Of course, some celebrities like Beyonce have both covered while others like Nicki Minaj are lacking. What does this mean for little black girls? Can they feel comfortable in their bodies and accept not being beautiful but talented instead? Or do their bodies have to be the cause of their beauty? Should they  have to choose? I do not know the answers to these questions, although I have some ideas. The good news is that Jennifer Hudson’s voice is still big and beautiful!