Parents and Expectations

on reclaiming your own agency
by

on reclaiming your own agency

“Being perfect is boring, failing is fun.”  I’ve been reflecting on that phrase my roommate shared with me a few nights ago.  I had opened up quite a bit about my struggles with managing academic responsibilities with the expectations of my parents, in addition to whatever standards I have set for myself.  Unfortunately, “perfection,” or something close to it, is the end goal I’ve been conditioned to pursue throughout my academic career.  This has been farther compounded by the fact that I earned the title of the smart kid out of my four siblings (I even got the nickname “professor” for at least a year and a half).  Pair this with constantly having others comment on the excellence of your family and siblings, and now I’m not just chasing after perfection for my own sake, but to uphold my family name.   

Continue reading →
by

Queer Brokenness: Intersection with Mental Illness

feature-470x260

Image Source: http://trauma.blog.yorku.ca/2015/12/south-asian-queer-community-lacks-visibility/  (Artist – Jinesh Patel)

(Content and Trigger Warning: Self Harm, Suicide, Substance Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Intimate Partner Violence, Bullying)

.

.

I often find that mental illness and queerness aren’t addressed properly or constructively when talked about together. So often the public at large would have us believe that queerness is a result of mental illness or that mental illness is the result of queerness exclusively. With this in mind, the queer community will often push back on society’s behavior by talking about the two exclusively from each other, frequently ignoring all the ways mental illness intersect. That’s does not go to say that queerness is the result of mental illness or vice versa at all, but rather it shouldn’t be ignored that many people in the queer community go through both because of the way society has constructed and reacted towards queerness. For example, queerness has often been perceived as a deviant thing, it has historically been punished and worked against in a variety of ways. Continue reading →

by

Expectations VS Reality

Parents and guardians are lovely people because they provide for us and take care of us while we grow up. I grew up with both my mom and dad, who had the highest expectations for both me and my brother. I always heard the words “doctor”, “lawyer”, “engineer”, etc. Even from a young age, I knew that it was not something that I wanted to do because all those careers are very closed-minded compared to my personality. I would not be able to be in a career where I am not free to have fun and be myself. I am not saying that the careers my dad wanted me to have are boring, but they are very serious jobs that limit my personality.

Continue reading →