Thinking about Transmasculine Feminism

Last semester in my Theories of Feminism class I read “The Transfeminist Manifesto” by Emi Koyama. This text spoke out to me as a trans person, and it introduced me to Koyama’s additional work on disability, sex work and intersex advocacy that has greatly increased my knowledge of other parts of the field. However, one thing I noticed throughout the text was the focus specifically on trans women and minimal reference to the experiences of trans men, apart from a couple of paragraphs in the gender-based violence section along the lines of “trans men also have something like this problem, we should also advocate for them.” Koyama herself at the end of the paper points out that while she did have the intention of transfeminine focus due to a higher visibility of injustice within transfeminine experiences, there is more information she could have covered on trans men’s experiences, and invites the reader to think more on the topics she did not discuss (e.g. intersectional analysis, trans men).

I did some Google scholar and library archival research after reading this paper and found out there is indeed not very much overlapping scholarship on feminism and transmasculinity, specifically discussing how feminism applies to – and can be done by – transmasculine folk across the gender and sex spectrums. In response to this deficit I thought, “they should make a transmasculine feminism,” and then remembered that I am in fact someone who has a say in that!

What comes to mind (at least from my perspective) as an avenue to explore transmasculine feminism is the idea of recontextualizing our lived experiences from embodied “feminine,” non-hegemonic-male experiences that feminism applies to. Examples I’ve thought of include socialization growing up, the treatment of our sexed bodies in the medical sphere (spaces commonly designated as “women’s” care), and ongoing experiences with how we are treated based on the gender others perceive us as.

I admit that while some may be comfortable discussing the controversial point of socialization, not all transgender folk may be as willing to critically discuss their socialized experiences in their assigned gender growing up, which could be due to dysphoria that could come from this recollection. While there are perfectly valid reasons for avoiding exploring this vulnerable topic in depth, I would argue that in the process of developing my transmasculine feminist thought thinking about my own girlhood, my medical encounters with my own biology, and how I have been gendered based on appearance, I have become more in tune with how I live gender than I ever have before. This might just be me growing up, but I think embracing the gendered aspects of earlier parts of my life is genuinely so constructive to thinking on how I wish to improve as a person, and more relevantly, as a feminist and activist.

So, from thinking about Koyama’s call to action to include more transmasculine thought on feminism, my personal goal in my GWST academics is to formulate something along the lines of a “Transmasculine Feminist Manifesto.” It feels like a very big task to come up with a personal Big Word for an Academic Thing and then justify to Big Academia why you think that should be a Thing, so I am quite daunted by that, especially considering I’ve been experiencing some intense burnout and for whatever reason have been having more and more of a difficult time putting words to my thoughts. But in the case of arguing for this from an embodied, phenomenological perspective, I suddenly have a lot more faith in my words than I have before, and I am very excited to get into putting research together and synthesizing that with my own life as a transmasculine person.

Objectification of Women in Anime

Last night I started rewatching an anime called “Soul Eater”. When I first watched the show in Middle School I easily fell in love with it and binge-watched the show over the course of 3 weeks. I found the show interesting with its storyline and also loved the two main characters, Maka and Soul. I just started rewatching the show last night and the way that I’m only less than 10 episodes in and the amount of fan service is actually ridiculous. I know you guys probably know what I mean by “fan service” but it’s basically the “material in a work of fiction or in a fictional series that is intentionally added to please the audience, often sexual in nature, such as nudity.” Fan-service in anime is really common and I feel as though it’s especially common in anime’s that are action based like Fire Force, Fairy Tail, One Piece, Seven Deadly Sins, etc. I think the reason why most action-based anime have a lot of fan service is because the majority of viewers are male.

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Acting like a female

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For as long as I can remember, men are not encouraged to be emotional simply because “you don’t want to be a bitch.” It is like an unspoken rule everywhere because it was the case in East Africa, Congo, Jamaica, and now in the United States. I remember back in my early childhood, whenever I fell and hurt myself playing outside, the people around would just whisper “shhh shh stop whining, be a MAN!” It was so engraved in me that every time I saw a boy crying, I would view him as weak, and incompetent; real men don’t cry. However, whenever I saw a girl crying, the first thing I would think of is “I wonder what is wrong with her? Does she need someone to talk to?” As I grew up and started experiencing more of life, I got that revealing moment like “Ok, I see why people cry now.” It’s not a secret that life gets hard. It will get hard for everyone no matter their background, and every once in a while, you will reach a point where you just have to let it all out. 

In my case, I found it difficult to cry, for instance, l will get really emotional but nothing will come out; no tears. So, I will end up forcing it out but to no avail. Next thing you know I’m on YouTube watching sad videos hoping they will pull a tear out of me like my situation isn’t terrible enough. An hour in after doing everything in my power, guess where I end up? On google just like every sensible person. There I typed, “why won’t tears come out when I cry.” The results were varying but I found it funny how one of the results was “you live in a dry climate; therefore, you don’t have a lot of water in the body.” I knew right away that this didn’t apply to me because it was a humid summer evening in Maryland and I sweat all the time. After a considerable amount of reflection and reading sources from mindbodygreen.com, I realized that the reason I won’t fully cry is that I won’t let myself get there, and that is because of all the cultural stigma that has been ingrained in me for years on end. Crying puts you in a vulnerable position and that can be hostile because we grew up seeing people get shamed and called names for simply expressing their emotions. It is very unfortunate that some people end up taking their own lives because they don’t feel comfortable or scared to express their emotions, so they end up burying them deep inside them until they can’t anymore. According to ourworldindata.org, men are twice more likely to commit suicide compared to women and the main reason is that most men would rather take their own lives than put themselves in a vulnerable position like sharing their deep feelings with the people around them. With proper education and awareness, we can eradicate stigmas like this and make it a safe place for everyone to share their feelings and have them be heard by someone. Just like the article by Iris Young Throwing like a girl, some actions and ideas just should have a gender attached to them because not only are they offensive, they can be hostile and take from one’s wellbeing.

Feeling like an Impostor

Among Us Impostor, used for clickbait but also to show an impostor

There are some days where I know I am this intelligent, capable, hardworking woman I strive to be. But on most days, I find myself doubting those facts. I find myself wondering how I even made it this far? If I were so smart, why do I feel so dumb all the damn time?

As a woman in computer science, I often doubt my own capabilities. I feel like I am slower at understanding basic concepts in comparison to other students. I feel like I am always lost and the deadweight of the group. Any high scores on any exams I received were out of luck. Maybe my friends were deceived, I don’t know what I am doing. I just think I am so incompetent in everything I do.

Maybe they are right, I don’t deserve to be in this field.

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Hitting Women: Thoughts about complaints about Feminism online

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About a month ago, a video of a black woman being slapped by a man on a NYC subway went viral. In the video, the woman and her friends were taunting and bullying a man because he was wearing an 8ball jacket. She was making fun of him right in his face and she hit him with her high-heeled shoe. Shortly after, the man slapped her. Lets just say she was not expecting him to hit her at all. After he hit her, a brawl ensued with another man on the train. It sparked the debate of whether or not it was wrong for a man to hit a woman. Many people firmly believe that men should never hit women. However, many people argued that the girl on the subway deserved to get slapped because she was bullying the man for no reason and hitting him first. Now after watching the video myself the day it was posted and again this week, I’ve noticed many comments from people on YouTube about the hypocrisy of feminism. I found people’s comments about this issue really interesting because I found myself seeing these kinds of comments every time I looked at the comments section of the video.

Here are just a few examples of the comments on the video that I am talking about:

“Feminism is just another excuse/reason for women to act like sluts.”

“Its not just black woman but woman in general. They go around spamming the word feminism and think they are queens. We are all the same, so if you think that if you’re a female and cannot get hit then you are mistaken. If you think you we have to hold a door because your female, you are mistaken. We do it out of respect, courtesy, and proper manners.”

I personally do not believe that this video has anything to do with feminism but I find it interesting that men on the Internet believe there is a connection between the two. Is feminism hypocritical? Is it something that is even remotely related to the topic/issue of men hitting women? I don’t particularly think so. When I first saw the video, I thought to myself that she did deserve to get slapped because she was talking trash to a man who wasn’t doing anything to her and he was minding his own business. She kept coming up to him and hitting him. I think once she hit him first, he had every right to hit her back. While I do not condone violence in any way, I personally feel that if a person hits me, whether it is a man or woman, I have the right to hit that person back. I also think that this girl kept taunting him and hitting because she didn’t think he would retaliate against her. I just think that this woman learned a lesson. Many have argued that it is a lesson that all women today should learn of. The lesson is if you are a woman and you hit a man, or bully him do not expect that he will not hit you back. But is this a lesson that all women in today’s society should learn? We do not live in chivalrous society. I think what it all comes down to is respect and that all men and women should respect each other.

I think about this class at the bar… is that weird?

Bars are weird places for bodies, especially for me and my female body. In most other places there are standard rules about how it’s okay to touch someone, what to say to someone, how to interact with someone. But when it comes to the bar it seems as if this all gets jumbled, thrown in the air and mixed up. Of course people have different thoughts about what is okay when it comes to touching their body especially when drinking. But the bar is this weird social environment where things get a little tricky. There’s dancing, it’s crowded, there’s alcohol… and things seem to go wrong… a lot

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To Insinuate or to Transform

To Insinuate or to Transform

Whether I’m wearing lots of makeup or no makeup, I am always the same person inside.

-Lady Gaga

As a child up until about 7th grade I would consider myself to had been a tomboy with girly qualities. I never wanted to put on a dress, wear dressy shoes, heels, get my hair done, and not even thinking about makeup. As I got older from high school on out, I believe I fell more into wanting to get dolled up. So makeup was a big part of that right. I soon became interested in buying foundation, and eyeliners, mascara etc. I liked doing my makeup to an extent and now, I almost wear it everyday. I personally don’t feel bound by makeup because I still go out without it. Another part of me wants to always wear it for the extra confidence boost because its insinuating. But here is where the real problem is; when is it overboard and no longer only insinuating but more trans-formative.

Society now gets on women for wearing too much makeup or making themselves look different from their natural look. When I am around my dad, boyfriend, or brother its always the “ohh she is wearing too much makeup” judgement. Many are now concerned they won’t know how someone really looks. But should that be the main concern and why is it this way. I feel society puts pressure on women to look a certain way. People now go out their way to have a certain look and to still be judged.

Asian Women: A Fetish/Yellow Fever?

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I remember talking to a friend of mine this past summer who currently goes to school in Boston. We went to high school together and she sometimes comes down to visit in Maryland where her family still lives. One time I visited my friend at her parent’s house and we watched The Wolverine. After we watched the movie we decided to go out to eat. Once we sat down at our table in the restaurant, we discussed the film. She spoke very passionately about the portrayal of Asian women/characters in the film. She complained about how the two main female characters in the film played on stereotypical Asian female roles. One of the characters in the film was a was a shy, meek, beautiful woman who needed to be saved by the stereotypical “white man.” The other Asian female character was a samurai sword wielding “bodyguard” for the lead white male character.

She went on to talk about how the city of Boston is mostly white and how the men there are “curious” about her because they look at her in a sexual way. While she believes the city is racist towards minorities, she does believe that as an Asian woman, she believes that what she experiences with the locals is somewhat different. She told me about a time when she went into a grocery store in the city with her African-American friend and while they were shopping, several white men in their 20’s were taunting him. They were whispering racial slurs towards him and they ended up having to leave because of it. While the men were hurling racial slurs, they were making comments about her physical appearance.

Throughout her many interactions with the locals in Boston, she finds it very weird how the men approach her and talk to her. She thinks that they are mostly curious about her because they are curious about her in a sexual way. To be honest my friend truly believes that the majority of white men fetishize Asian women. I’ve heard many of my own Caucasian friends and peers talk about how Asian women are more sexually open-minded than white women and that Asian women are better in the bedroom. It’s actually really commonplace for people to really believe that stereotype. It is one of the things that my friend has struggled with her whole life. Historically, Asian women in American society were sexualized because they were often viewed as the “seductress” or the “prostitute” and I think that has majorly impacted the way our society views Asian women today.

Renee Zellweger’s Face: The Media’s Brutality & Sexist Hollywood

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Last week, the Internet exploded with people commenting on actress Renee Zellweger’s face. She appeared at an event in Hollywood, and it was reportedly her first red carpet appearance in years. Zellweger has not appeared in film for the past five years and she has not been spotted by the media since she turned 40. When she appeared at the event in Hollywood last week, people were talking about how dramatically different she looked since the last time she appeared in the public eye. Many people noted that five years out of the limelight in Hollywood is really long time, especially for a renowned and popular actress such as Zellweger.

Zellweger’s reemergence has sparked a conversation about women aging in Hollywood. Hollywood and the entertainment industry in general is notorious for being brutal towards women as they age. We as a society in general are too focused and judgmental towards women and their bodies especially as they age. People on the Internet and the media immediately jumped to the conclusion that Zellweger had gotten some kind of plastic surgery. The following day after the hysteria surrounding her new appearance, Zellweger responded by making a statement to People Magazine and said, “I’m glad folks think I look different! I’m living a different, happy, more fulfilling life, and I’m thrilled that perhaps it shows.”

Zellwegger discussed that her hectic schedule had a negative impact on her health and that she suffered greatly from exhaustion. She noted that living a happier, more slow-paced lifestyle, and being in a happy relationship with her boyfriend helped her tremendously. Zellweger also said, “People don’t know me in my 40’s, people dont know me as healthy for a while,” “Perhaps I look different. Who doesn’t as they get older!? Ha. But I am different. I am happy.” Did Zellweger get plastic surgery? Did she change her appearance so that she could get more acting roles in Hollywood due to the pressures that exist? Is Zellweger’s new look just a result of aging? I’m not really sure. I personally think that hectic schedules and fast-paced lifestyles can take a toll on the body. I think that if a person makes certain changes to their lifestyle that their appearance can change.

After looking at some photos of her from a few years ago, I do think that she somewhat looks different but I can’t say for sure that she got plastic surgery. It amazed me how the media blew this up and how long people kept talking about it. I think its funny how Hollywood is harshly criticized by conservatives for being “feminist” when clearly it isn’t. Women in Hollywood are constantly being judged by their appearances. Hollywood is in fact a culture that is dominated by primarily men and repeatedly puts women down.

Namaste

yoga pic

Recently, I have started going to yoga classes at the RAC twice a week with my roommate and one of my suite mates. After going to a few sessions, I realized how much yoga makes me aware of my body in different ways.

First class: I walk into the room where the class is held, and I see a slew of medium-height, slender girls (and a few guys) with perfectly toned bodies who gracefully rolled out their yoga mats and sat down and stretched their perfectly formed muscles. Continue reading