beauty standards

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Social Problems and Individual Solutions

The readings the past week have made me think about how our society has convinced itself that the way we operate now is functionable, and we punish those who don’t or refuse to conform, that they are the ones who need fixing. The first narrative in class that first made me think about this was the Maintenance Phase podcast episode, Fat Camp. Essentially, these camps are for children to lose weight. Many of these kids report bullying in school, lack of friends, and isolation. These kids, as observed from the documentary they played, also received verbal harassment from their parents to lose weight. The agreed solution for these issues is to send them to a camp, away from family and friends to put them on strict diets and intense exercise. The solution is to “fix” the kids. These children don’t learn important lessons about their body. Their peers don’t learn important lessons about bullying or people who are different from you and their parents don’t learn important lessons about their children. None of these people unpack the actions they’ve endured, or the actions they have taken. We undertake individual solutions to social problems.

These kids’ problems are not individual. These kids don’t speak into the camera about how it’s harder for themselves to walk or play, in fact much of the footage of them at home is exactly that, them playing in the skate park, or running around with friends. These kids lament about how they’ve been ostracized for their weight, at school and at home. They don’t end up hating their bodies in a vacuum. The problem that needs fixing is not the children, or anyone who is fat, but rather the society that alienates and otherizes fat people. A society that is obsessed with diets and weight loss and justifies the harassment of fat people. Why should the marginalized have to change themselves for a problem they did not create? A problem that they have are the victims of?

A similar concept is presented in “When Coercion In Care Makes Kilmeade’s “just kill ’em” Thinkable” a blog post by Shannon Pagdon on the Disability Visibility Project website. The post discusses how our society demonizes people with mental health and forces them into institutions, robbing them of their autonomy. Further along in the article, Pagdon mentions laws that seek to “fix” the growing homeless population by forcibly placing the homeless into psychiatric wards and forcing people with mental health issues into treatment, threatening legal sanction if they don’t. Harmful solutions are only undertaken to “fix” the individual. They strip them of autonomy, remove consent, forcibly place them in institutions and inject their bodies against their will. These resources are not used for community or housing support but rather control of the person. The problems that are caused by society are not treated as the social issues they are, the individual and only the individual needs to be “fixed.”

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Treating fat people as if they should be extinct

I was listening to the Ozempic podcast from the Maintenance Phase and their discussion of the discourse around the drug and the type of language being used around it really illuminated me to an issue that I wasn’t completely aware of. It’s this kind of idea that fat people can never win.

Read more: Treating fat people as if they should be extinct

They try to lose weight and somehow they’re doing it the wrong way. They don’t alter their weight and somehow they’re all lazy and a waste of space. To generalize people like this and to pretend like you know everyone’s situation or motive is ridiculous. For one it frames losing weight as some type of cure all that will make society into a utopia, secondly it really trivializes how hard it can be for someone to lose weight. There’s the issue of accessibility, mental health, and all kind of biological differences people have. And the thing is this sort of fat phobia is highly unlikely to come from a place of concern or worry about health. If that was the case I think people who vape would be called disgusting, dehumanizing names. It comes from a place of hatred for those who don’t fit the norm, and yet it’s so incredibly ironic because most people don’t really fit the norm. Everyone strays from what is considered socially acceptable one way or another, but somehow it just so happens that being fat is a more acceptable target. There was another really interesting point that was brought up in the segment that I think really highlights the lack of care for those trying to lose weight. Because Ozempic and Wegovy are in a shortage right now that means that compounding pharmacies are now allowed to make their own sort of version without FDA oversight. However their version is potentially harmful to humans because it’s using semaglutide sodium, which has not been cleared. Because of the shortage these companies are not legally required to tell people what they are putting in their drugs. This is just a stark example of how the health of fat people are not actually being prioritized, in fact when they try to do the “right thing” and try losing weight they’re actively being poisoned. It just goes to show that again, fat people can’t really win within this society because there are constant set backs. There’s also this sort of notion that fat people are to blame for the shortage of Ozempic, as if most fat people or anyone in general really has easy access to it. I think this blame really takes the focus out of the severity of the issue. There are people who are really depending on this drug, many diabetics are on it just to survive and it isn’t like they have many other safe and viable options. Hopefully the shortage ends soon but in the meantime I really think conversations surrounding Ozempic should be about solutions to making it more accessible to those who need it instead of speculating who is on it and if they’re “taking the easy way out”.

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Why do I have to lose weight?

Growing up my grandma always commented on my body saying oh you need to lose that stomach fat, your belly is getting big , and where did all this weight come from. When I was younger I always thought why is she saying this to me I’m only 7 and I like my body I’m just having fun. I grew irritable when she would pat my stomach and say you need to lose this. I started sucking in my stomach to make it skinnier and flat so my body looked “right”. Her saying this to me so young caused me to believe I shouldn’t have any stomach fat even if I wasn’t what people would consider a bigger girl. Now as I am older I still suck in my stomach with out realizing until someone says something or I reach a relaxed state showing the effect her words have add on me after years of hearing the same thing. A student in class said the same thing about her family member mentioning her body when they would see her and it made me think of my grandmother doing the same to me. Maybe one day I will ask her why she always comments on my stomach and why she is so obsessed with losing her own stomach fat when to me it looks like a healthy normal body.

Read more: Why do I have to lose weight?

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Is the body a mask?

The image portrays an old oil painting displaying a figure holding up a broken mask to their face.

In our earlier lessons within class the question of “are we our bodies?” was discussed. Of course the general response was no, we aren’t. Our bodies are a vessel for our minds, they carry our dreams, fears, beliefs, personalities, and so much more. However, if people are so much more than the body why does it seem like it is such a determining factor in our lives?

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My Body, Everyone’s Opinion

In “Throwing Like a Girl,” Iris Marion Young defines femininity as “a set of structures and conditions which delimit the typical situation of being a woman in particular society as well as the typcial way in which this situation is lived by the women themselves.”

Read more: My Body, Everyone’s Opinion

I really began to think about how femininity is shaped by structures and conditions, but also how women in various cultures may experience and utilize these conditions. I also began to think about my experience as a skinny black girl and how my body is viewed and discussed based on the audiences age. I was stuck in between two expectations. My younger peers would make comments about growing my glutes to achieve the “slim thick” figure. At the same time, older women will tell me to enjoy my skinniness (as if there was a timer on my body) because the day was coming when I’d be in their position; Reminiscing of the slimness they once had. Both comments are different, but they both make me think about how my body is being measured against expectation of how a woman’s body should look like. I question the root of where did the expectations come from and at what point did they change? The ideas of what a black woman is supposed to look like has influenced how I see my own body. To the point where I start to ask myself, “well which side of the spectrum should I strive to be on?”

Young’s definition helped me see that these experiences are not just a desire to look a certain way. It is a larger social condition that is shaped by what other think black women’s bodies should look like. The pressure to be “thick,” gain weight, and enjoy my body before it changes all shows how femininity can shape the way women understand and experience their own bodies.

image used from: https://www.123rf.com/photo_88636296_set-of-female-body-shape-types-five-types-african-american-women-vector-cartoon-illustration.html

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Are Men “Visual Creatures”?: A Discussion on Porn & Bioessentialism

TW//mentions of SA, porn addiction, objectification

One thing that really stood out to me in Throwing Like a Girl is how Iris Marion Young criticizes bioessentialism, which is the idea that men and women behave a certain way because it’s just “biology”. She shows how people explain things like throwing differences as natural, when they’re really learned through social expectations. It is similar to how people perform worse due to the stereotype threat, which is when minority groups tend to underperform on tests because they believe that they are not capable of performing well, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

I think that same logic of “inherent” or “biological” behaviors can be applied to how men justify watching porn by saying “men are visual creatures”, which is not based in fact at all. That phrase is so harmful because it makes it seem like objectifying women is unavoidable, instead of something that men are choosing to participate in. 

Read more: Are Men “Visual Creatures”?: A Discussion on Porn & Bioessentialism

Porn is extremely dehumanizing because it turns people, often women, into objects meant to be looked at, not individuals with complex life experiences who have their own agency. Young talks about how women are taught to experience their bodies as something to be watched and judged, rather than as something they fully control. Porn takes that even further by reducing women to their body parts and presenting sex as something women exist to provide. It trains people to see women’s bodies as products rather than as a part of an intimate and sacred human interaction.

The idea that porn allows people to “buy” consent is disturbing on its own as well. Consent in porn is always available and detached from real emotional or physical consequences. Sometimes consent can even be depicted as NOT freely given, and disrespected, as part of r*pe fetishes. Humans were never meant to have instant and unlimited access to sex like this, and pretending that it’s just “natural male sexuality” ignores how artificial and extreme this level of access actually is. The harm doesn’t just affect the person consuming porn, it impacts the women in it, who are often exploted, and women in the modern dating world that have to deal with unrealistic expectations and porn-driven violence and entitlement.

Just like Young argues, bioessentialism isn’t harmless. It is used to excuse behavior that causes real harm by making it seem inevitable, and vanishing accountability for those who are engaging in them. Saying “men are visual creatures” works the same way as saying “girls throw like that”. It hides socialization behind biology.

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A Society Built on an Unattainable Standard

I’d like to know the who, what, when, where, and why behind the time in human history where it became a concept to have an ‘ideal’ type of person within society. Who’s judgement of another person decided that having a thinner body type is ‘normal,’ while having a bigger one is not. Or, are these judgements just an innate human nature, that was always bound to be unavoidable? I truthfully wonder why people’s judgements and opinions towards certain types of bodies became so prominent/trendy. These bounds within society seem nearly unbreakable, as in, can we ever really alter these narratives? This goes hand in hand with the question of: who decided what a ‘normal, nondisabled body’ looks like within society? Why was it never initially concluded that there can be multiple versions of ‘normal,’ and why isn’t being simply human, normal enough? Insecurities are oh so prominent amongst humans, particularly due to the crafted narrative that’s come to be, surrounding what the ‘preferred body’ is within society. It’s all too common for people in today’s age to feel the need to ‘fix’ something about themselves. Whether it be thinking that you’re too big, you’re too small, your nose is too big, your lips are too small, etc., it seems that hardly anyone is ever fully satisfied with how they look, and I believe that this didn’t always have to be the case. Obviously, society has always been excluding and hateful towards differing groups of people, so the current global dynamic full of insecurities and judgement is anything but surprising. The film Crimp Camp strongly supports these concerns as a sense of normalcy was experienced by the campers when they existed together in nature, away from society’s restricting expectations. The film emphasizes that ‘normalcy’ is not a simple definition, but a spectrum of human experience.

Fighting internal battles inside a cage
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Fighting internal battles inside a cage

Over the weekend, I watched the film “Magazine Dreams” starring Jonathan Majors. I found it to be a very potent and powerful film, navigating the troubled topics of mental health and toxic masculinity seen in a bodybuilder. I personally think its one of the best films in the past 5 years, masterfully crafted, and the acting of Jonathan Majors was nothing but masterful, 9.5/10 in my opinion. But watching it, I couldn’t help but find parallels in a recent essay we read in class, Roxanne Gay, “My body is a cage of my own making.” Roxanne writes with raw honesty about how her body has become both a site of protection and imprisonment, shaped by trauma, shame, and the desire for safety. Her essay tussles with the views of society on fatness seen as failure and how internalized expectations of beauty and worth can distort the relationship one has with the body. The body seen as a “cage,” is not just physical, it’s psychological and societal, shaped through years of punishment, judgement and self-loathing. Just like Roxanne Gay, Jonathan Majors character, Killian Maddox goes through a similar struggle, like Gay, Killian’s obsession with control over his body will grant him love, recognition, and dignity, it becomes his own form of imprisonment. It’s this desire that turns self-destructive; these hypermasculine ideals reflect societal views on strength, dominance, and visibility, and can warp one’s self-image. It’s this toxic masculinity image that Killian aspires to. It’s the muscle-bound body that Killian builds that becomes his own “cage”; he builds his own prison. I can relate to Killian’s view of wanting to look better and that there is something even above perfection; my family calls me a perfectionist and that nothing is ever really good enough for me, I’ve been working out for 4 years now, and even now I can’t find the satisfactory approval of others; I can’t even find it within myself. I feel as if I have to keep pushing myself with no end in sight; there is no prize to perfection, only the endless pursuit. Ultimately, both works reveal the violence of living in a body that society misreads or refuses to acknowledge fully. Gay’s body is seen as “too much,” and Killian’s body as “not enough.” Both ideas are detrimental and harmful to both, and both end up internalizing this worldview until it ultimately consumes them. Both of these works reveal the battle between the body you create for yourself and the socially defined aspects of it.

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One characteristic fits all, except beauty standards

TW: Mentions of body shaming, eating disorders and rape/SA.

“Have you tried losing weight?” “Maybe you should get on a diet.” “The pain would go away if you were smaller.” These are all poor excuses that people When going to the doctor as a bigger person, there is almost a preparation internally that is done to face the same two statements.

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Femininity, Fluidity, & Faloodas
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Femininity, Fluidity, & Faloodas

Being born female has always felt like a curse to me. Although I do love presenting femininely, girlhood, and feminism, femininity always felt like an objective that I could never, ever reach. Growing up, I was surrounded by ideals of what a “real woman” should look like and act like, but none of them ever felt like me.

Read more: Femininity, Fluidity, & Faloodas

Too often, women & afab people of color, specifically black and brown people, are hyper masculinized by society. Many of us experience gender dysphoria at a young age without even realizing it. In a porn-sick, pedophilic world, we are often told to shave our legs or that we won’t be desirable if we are not petite. We are groomed into believing that compliance with these unrealistic and patriarchal beauty standards is the only way we can be loved or accepted.

This alienation often made me feel like I was a monster, much like how Stryker compares the trans body to Frankenstein’s monster, where both are labeled as “unnatural” creations rejected by society. Even the most natural and feminine part of myself, body hair, was turned into something to be erased. Body hair, a normal sign of maturity, was made to seem masculine, ugly, and unnatural. That made me feel both “not feminine enough” and “not masculine enough,” even as I came to understand myself as genderfluid. I found myself trapped between two conflicting thoughts: one that punished me for lacking male traits, and another that shamed me for not performing femininity “correctly.”

These beauty standards also erase intersectionality, especially when it comes to South Asian bodies. Generations of colonial trauma, famine, and labor have shaped our bodies in ways that defy Eurocentric ideals. Yet we are still told that our features, our curves, our body hair, and our skin are flaws to be fixed. Our oppressors wound us and then teach us to hate the scars it leaves behind.

For me, reclaiming my gender and my body means rejecting those expectations. Like Stryker’s “transgender rage”, I’ve learned that my frustration can become powerful, where I refuse to be molded by standards that were never made for me. My gender exists in the space between what I was told to be and what I choose to become.