I consider myself a pretty quiet person. You probably haven’t heard me speak up much in class. I’m not sure if it’s because of fear of judgement, or just the fact that people will be looking at me, but I try to keep to myself. In many ways, this has helped me blend into a crowd, and it fuels my need to avoid confrontation, but when it comes to important subjects and conversations, there unfortunately is no difference in my action (or inaction). 

I can’t speak up for people, and it’s a problem. You probably shouldn’t count on me to defend you when you’re not around. Yesterday, I met a high school student who is from my county. I work above a lot of high school students at my job, so after asking which school she went to, I asked if she knew one of my favorite coworkers. She said she did, and proceeded to let me know how annoying she thought that he was. It broke my heart, yet I didn’t have the courage to back him up. I need all new people to like me, and the possible defense of my coworker could hinder that. 

Unfortunately, this problem is not just with personal friends. Recently, a friend from work was talking to me about a show we both watch, where there is a Sri Lankan contestant. While we both are fans, and enjoy watching this person on the show, my white friend began to quote the contestant using a mockery of his accent. There didn’t seem to be any intent of him being mean, and I know he is not a mean person. However I do know it is wrong. I just kinda sat there and watched him do it, no comment. I am too afraid to speak up.

I attend marches for causes I believe in, and try to donate and spread awareness (online)  to causes I think are just. I seem to be able to do these, because they don’t require me opening my mouth. Until I am able to speak up for what is right, and literally advocate for people, I don’t think I could really consider myself an activist.