Looking the Part

I have a job interview coming up. Well, I technically already have the job, but my workplace makes you re-interview every year to make sure that no one is able to receive benefits for being a year-round employee. So they remove, and reinstate everyone 🙂 I know I am someone who the company can depend on, and I am a trusted employee and good worker, but I can’t help but be nervous about my potential placements for this summer job. 

In the past, the company has screwed me over a bit. In 2019, I was in my fourth summer working, when the manager directly above me had quit without notice. I understand there was a scramble to find someone to promote but I was clearly the most experienced candidate. It was my second year in a management position, and I was ready to take on the job. I was trusted by staff members, and had a good relationship with my supervisors. However, the boy (I say boy due to the fact that he was 17 at the time) working alongside me at the same position that summer received the job. I was in shock. He was in his second month of holding a management position. It was his third summer working this job. I had a one up on him in every sense of the word, but he was immediately offered the position. I look back and think if they even considered offering it to me, but I find it best not to dwell. It was the first time I really saw first hand the fact that a white man is probably going to beat me out for a position most of the time. I don’t really “look the part” of a manager.

Other staff members texted me the next day, almost offering me condolences. They were confused with the decision as well. So on Tuesday, when I go into my interview, no matter how well I do, in the back of my mind, I know there may be someone walking in to interview after me, who already looks like he should have the job.

I can’t be an activist (yet)

 I consider myself a pretty quiet person. You probably haven’t heard me speak up much in class. I’m not sure if it’s because of fear of judgement, or just the fact that people will be looking at me, but I try to keep to myself. In many ways, this has helped me blend into a crowd, and it fuels my need to avoid confrontation, but when it comes to important subjects and conversations, there unfortunately is no difference in my action (or inaction). 

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My Sweatshirt Prison

This summer I became head manager of an outdoor pool. I managed and created schedules, was tasked with instructing new lifeguards, and was expected to make sure pool safety and chemical measures were up to code. Between the patrons who came during the senior hours, or the little 15 year-olds working their first new jobs, I loved creating relationships, especially when for the past year I hadn’t met any new people. 

It was almost perfect, but the downside to being a lifeguard, is the visual representation that comes along with that is. When someone mentions lifeguard, my thoughts immediately go to Baywatch. Ripped shirtless guys, and skinny and curvy women, but I don’t fit that stereotype, and struggles came with that. When requesting a uniform, which my company provides for free, I fill out the styles and sizes of each piece of uniform I need. T-shirt, shorts, bathing suit, etc. The sizes range from XS-XXL. Luckily, my size falls into that category, but whenever I go to the office to pick up my uniform, it’s never in stock.

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A Gloomy Gap Year

It’s May 2020 and the “Register for the Fall 2020 Semester!” emails keep on coming. I cannot think of a single thing I’d like to do LESS than signing up for another semester of pandemic ridden classes. Learning through a screen for me, holds no accountability. I don’t have to show up and look the teacher in the face if I hadn’t completed an assignment on time. Oh, my essay is due tomorrow? If I delete the reminder email, is the essay really still due tomorrow?

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