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I used to hide my freckles.

I used to hide my freckles.

Up until I went to high school, I never thought twice about how I looked. I would literally just throw on a t-shirt and some jeans, put my hair into a ponytail, and walk out of the house. Around the beginning of high school, one of my friends pointed out that I had freckles. At first, I was confused because I had gone all my life without realizing this, and now I was afraid that I would be made fun of for having them.

I thought that my freckles were interesting, but I was afraid that other people would not think the same way. I used to get picked on from 6th-8th grade, and I did not want to start at a new school and have the past repeat itself. I decided that I would rarely talk to people at school, and keep my head in the books – literally.

By the time I hit the 12th grade, only few people had noticed my freckles, but they were my friends. I remember my sister taking me to the MAC store because she was so obsessed with “putting some color on [my] face”. Now, for the most part I agreed to get my make up done, because I thought it would be fun. The makeup artist there had given me some concealer for my dark circles, and some foundation that gave me a more tan – but still natural – look. I was in awe. I loved the way that all my flaws had seemed to disappear; all but my freckles.

The more I wore my makeup, the more my freckles seemed to disappear. Had I grown fond of them? I think I had. Although I felt as though people would make fun of me for having freckles, I still believed that they were pretty cool. My dad has a lot of freckles on his back and face, and I felt having freckles was actually a pretty interesting thing. Not many of my relatives have freckles, and I liked that fact that I was one of the few that did – it gave me a sense of connection with my family, and after staring at my face for countless hours a day, I started to like them.

I decided that it was time to retire the makeup for awhile. I went with a more natural look. I slept earlier, to help get rid of my bags, and I applied Ponds to my face morning and night. My face began to glow in a different way than it had before, and I was really starting to like it. A lot of people began complimenting me, saying that wearing no makeup looked a lot better on me than makeup did – and my freckles would get complimented too!

I still wear makeup sometimes if I am going out somewhere, or just because I am in the mood to look a bit more “girly”, but I love being able to take a break from it all to embrace my true, natural self.

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Achilles

I have been dancing since I was 7 years old and I still have not stopped. From break-dancing, Hip hop and even my own Punjabi cultural dance known as Bhangra. Dancing is my way to express myself and enjoy the limelight of the stage. From the age of 7 to 21 years old I never had any serious injuries besides some minor bruises or strained muscles. Continue reading →

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Compulsory Femininity And My Very Weird Phobia

“Could you help me find the back of my earring?” she asks, looking around on the floor.

“Actually…. I canno jewelry‘t. Like, I really can’t, I’m sorry,” I say, standing there. I’m not just being a dick – the idea of touching an earring back sends a shudder through my entire body. I’ve been this way since I was a kid. In the way that people hate and fear spiders or elevators, I hate and fear small and ornate metal objects. I have the dumbest phobia of all: the jewelry phobia.

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