2 Days Ago

10:30am: Doctor Who theme song plays inches from my head. Time to wake up.

10:35am: Get into shower. Let water pour over my head and into the floor. Eventually use soap.

10:53am: Stand in the shower with the water off facing the towel on the hook on the door. Try summoning it with the Force. Then with a simple summoning charm (both hard and soft pronunciation of Accio).  Succumb and get towel manually.

10:55am: Get dressed. Smell multiple pairs of jeans, put on least rank pair. Match undershirt with socks, bonus 3 points.

11:05am: Impromptu dance party to Aaron Carter as iTunes shuffle blasts (perks of being the only one in the apartment at 11am).

11:25am: Run out of the apartment still tying shoelace. Running late. Stupid tumblr.

11:35am: Choose one of the semi-unappetizing options from the Commons as a place for lunch. Grab a salad to be safe.

11:45am: Eat outside while it’s still sunny and bearable out. Listen to preacher by the Wind Tunnel.  Watch easily offended students talk back to him. Loose appetite.

11:57am: Pee break before office hours.

11:58am: Sprint to office hours because you’re running late. Again.

12:02pm: No one’s around. Time for minesweeper.

12:58pm: CLASS AT 1PM IS A THING. YOU ALWAYS FORGET. CRUD. Accidentally run into your favourite professor while sprinting to class. Apologize for getting their coffee on their dress shirt.

1:01pm: Fight redness in face as you walk to your seat in the back of the room. Hit 2 people in the head with your backpack.

2:20pm: You need coffee. Lines are long. You teach at 2:30. Up to a challenge?

2:28:30pm: BAD IDEA. BAD IDEA. Sprint across campus with 2 16 oz. cups of scolding hot coffee. Burn finger outside of engineering building.

2:32pm: No one realized you were late. Regulate breathing. Inhale coffee.

3:30pm: Lock yourself in a windowless depressing room. Study in a corner.

5:15pm: See sunlight for the first time all afternoon.

5:16pm: Say goodbye to the sun and head back indoors to another (equally depressing) classroom.

7:00pm: Enter apartment disgruntled. Collapse on armchair in awkward position, face into the armrest. Keep still as roommate balances a plate on your calf.

7:15pm: Soup or ramen? Soup. Keep loosing at Jeopardy.

7:30pm: Retreat to your room. Open up large textbooks and start researching on how to start alpha phase of a project.

8:53pm: Actually understand what you’re supposed to do for that project. You’ve been thinking about it all wrong. Throw textbook out of your room. Decide it’s time for a walk outside to destress.

8:54pm: Go on tumblr instead. That doesn’t require putting on shoes.

10:00pm: Realize you just wasted an hour on tumblr. Go back to work.

12:35am: Get ready to go to bed. Look at calendar and discover homework due tomorrow hasn’t been touched.

2:00am: Finally finish homework. Get ready to go to bed. Collapse on bed in nightshirt, jeans and one sock.

Today

10:30am: Doctor Who theme plays. Shift uncomfortably in bed and throw pillow over head.

10:31am: Throw back sheets to find yourself in a pool of blood of your enemies.

10:32am: Motivate yourself to get out of bed.

10:33am: Waddle out of bed, strip sheets and throw them into the wash. Re-adjust the blood-wedgie at least 3 times.

10:34am: Ready a pair of underwear with a pad and put it at the base of the shower. Get into the shower.

10:35am: Watch water mix with your blood as red liquid goes down the drain. Feel sick. Possibly puke. Use soap.

10:55am: Jump out of shower, pull up prepared underwear and feel pad soak up water. Hate yourself for a few minutes.

11:05am: Pull on most fitting pair of jeans and use a belt, extra tight. Nothing will fall today.

11:07am: As Backstreet Boys plays this morning, reminisce about atime before the bloody Niagara falls between your legs was a thing.

11:10am: Go to the bathroom before you leave.

11:17am: Finally leave your apartment. Avoid taking long strides.

11:30am: Approach the Commons. Things that sound amazing? Pizza. Pizza is good.

11:37am: Noms. Eat by the bookstore. Seats in the commuter lounge aren’t bad at this time of day…

11:40am: Do you really have to go to work? On the list of things you’d rather do would be pretty much anything. Even that preacher sounds like a good idea right now.

11:42am: Bathroom break before office hours.

11:52am: Actually leave for office hours.

Noon: You’re on time. It’s the little things that make your day right now.

12:32pm: Student comes in to talk to you. Seemingly reasonable question is asked. Must. Refrain. From. Doing. Things. Which. Would. Get. Yourself. Fired.

12:47pm: No one’s going to miss you if you’re gone 13 minutes early, right? Eh. Don’t stick around to find out. Ask someone else to cover for you.

12:50pm: Bathroom break.

12:58pm: WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SPRINTING TO YOUR 1PM CLASS?

1:02pm: Actually feel the blood run down your leg. Ignore it. Running was a mistake. You’ll fix it later.

2:15pm: Go straight to class. Attempt to be cheery. Send out S.O.S. text to friends for Advil.

2:17pm Rendezvous with friend who is your favourite person in the world at the moment. Down 3 Advil with a smoothie they brought you.

3:30pm Ignore existence of 5:30pm class. Go back to apartment.

3:50pm: Go straight to bedroom. Change into sweatpants. Crawl under covers and pull up laptop. Marathon Firefly and ignore all homework, emails and assignments coming in..

11:00pm: Pass out curled in a ball being the big spoon to your laptop.