Looking through everyone’s blog posts and the internet there is obviously a huge increase in talking about fatness, thinness and everything in between.
I think I realized what is starting to annoying me with it all.
I don’t have to love my body.
Sometimes I’m neutral, sometimes I can relish in my curves, sometimes I can’t. There are days in which I feel amazing, I can prance around in my underwear and admire myself in the mirror. Then there are days that I want to cut away at the fat just to get rid of it.
I am sick of people telling me that I am supposed to love my body. That real women have curves (only in the hourglass shape – if you have a different shape, well you’re fucked). If I don’t love my body everyday no matter what I’m a bad feminist. If I don’t look ‘fierce’ and have winged eyeliner, then I’m not doing a good job at being femme or being a fat body.
Because I can only have rolls if I dress them up.
Because being whatever body I have is a problem.
Because we can go on for hours about how media is poisoning our minds and giving everyone shitty self-esteem and the only thing we’re supposed to do is deal with it.
Because I can scream forever at the top of my lungs I’m beautiful and fierce and amazing. But at the end of the night I still have to peel off the stockings that kept my fat in the acceptable position to achieve the right type of curve and massage away the angry red indents in my flesh.
And after all that, I’ll have to do it again the next day.
Because it hasn’t actually changed anything. The same person who yelled fat ass will still probably call me a fat ass.
Do not tell me how I am supposed to feel about my body. Tell them to stop making me feel like shit about my body. Stop making my feel guilty when I don’t love myself every damn minute of the day. Look at yourself and think about the ways you are still policing bodies by telling them whatever cheesy positive bullshit you regurgitated from the internet.
This is my body. And I will feel however I want about it.
Unruly Bodies 
I feel this so much; you expressed a lot of the thoughts that’ve been floating in my head since going through the unit on fat bodies in class and Love Your Body Day. I like that you pointed out the ways that our society has rules to being a “good/acceptable” fat body, like dressing up or appearing ‘fierce’.
I think body positivity movements can be powerful, definitely, but the “love your body” and “every body is beautiful” sentiments just feel like ~another~ thing I’m expected to be doing with my body. It’s stressful because I don’t always love my body and sometimes I don’t want to be beautiful (what IS beautiful? why is it so important?). It’s stressful because there are always people who hate my body. It’s stressful hearing “don’t let those people tell you what to do with your body” immediately followed by “you should love your body, it’s beautiful.” I think I’d maybe appreciate a “mind your own business” movement as that orca suggests a little more.
I really loved this entry. I enjoyed your honesty and how direct you are about the topic of body acceptance and this post has given me a new perspective on the subject.
I have always been one of those “Everyone should love their bodies!” kinds of people, but a lot of that comes from a place deep within me where I feel like I SHOULD love my body all the time. Sometimes it’s the only way I know how to fight against fat shaming and ridiculous beauty standards. This post has been a nice reminder that telling someone that they should “love their body” is still telling someone how they should feel and perceive their bodies, and that’s still kind of crappy.
I absolutely agree with the previous comments, they said almost everything that I was going to say. I loved the way you wrote and expressed your feelings. This post made me think about my believes and the “you should love your body” saying. I am one of those people that says this saying, but I think deep down nothing should be force to an individual. It is just not right to tell someone how they should feel! I think I need to change my language, and thank you for that!
Also I really liked the way you described and linked the issue to society.