Over this break, we Fast and Furious fans were devastated by the loss of Paul Walker in a fatal car crash.
This got me thinking about death and the way social media and the internet has changed the way we view it. Today even after a person dies you can find countless pictures and videos of them on Facebook, twitter, instagram, etc… For me personally, this makes dealing with death a little easier but at the same time it brings up some unpleasant emotions that I’ve been having trouble understanding.
It makes death a little easier to stomach because these images and videos are snapshots of the essence of the people we lose. Whenever we need a pick me up we can look at a picture from happier times and smile remembering the good times that were shared. Many fear that they will forget their loved ones but these pictures serve as little constant reminders of them once their body is 6 feet under. In Paul Walker’s case there are not only countless photos on the web but he is forever immortalized in DVD’s of movies and TV shows he’s done throughout the years. Brian O’Connor will forever be the bad boy racer with a heart of gold who stole our hearts throughout the Fast & Furious franchise and these movies keep him alive in a way.
Now at the same time these pictures can evoke different emotions depending on ones relationship to the person who was lost. A feeling of being almost haunted by these pictures can manifest. Sometimes these memories are met with sadness for the loss. Earlier this year one of my oldest friends ever committed suicide and this left me and my friends reeling. How could someone who seemed so happy in pictures be so tragically sad and unhappy in reality? Everyone who knew her was aware of her slightly darker side but we were all floored by her death. Although sometimes pictures of her smiling make me grateful to have known her and witnessed this joy that she portrayed and spread among those around her, these same pictures confuse me. They confuse me because behind those grins she hid her pain and masked her unhappiness.
Even though she took her own life, somehow these pictures made me understand where she was coming from in a sense. She no longer had to pretend to be happy in this existence she found to be so difficult. She finally found her happiness beyond what most of us can understand as such.
For some of us who mourn Paul Walker these pictures are tiny glimpses of memories that elicit a feeling of happiness while for others they bring about a feeling of loss and confusion over his untimely death.
Unruly Bodies 
I actually do not like the role that social media has changed the event of a death. It kind of makes me feel uncomfortable that someone who is now deceased is continuously encircling the web for a public view, for everyone in the world to see. Although a tribute or memorial is acceptable, some people go overboard in the case of celebrity deaths, as users on facebook, twitter, instagram, or other social media will just post a pic or status regarding the death just for “likes”, which I find really disrespectful. I personally think the event of a death should be held mostly private, out of respect, because it seems that social media will continue to overly publicize it.
I think this Paul Walker death has made me a little grossed out from the way the internet has handled it. More specifically of how many thousands of people were upset because he was attractive. Don’t get me wrong, the man was very attractive but it seemed that loosing someone with good genes alone was enough to evoke great sorrow-regardless of his personality. It shows how obsessed we are with beauty in our society. I remember reading about his death and in the first hour at least five people I interacted with started off with “its a shame…he was so hot”.
It is an extremely strange and often uncomfortable shift in the way death is viewed nowadays. The dead’s Facebook pages lay dormant and untouched indeterminately, like headstones or monuments that can show you everything that person wanted to show before they passed on. Their body as it was lives on in a haunting sort of way. As you have said, on the one hand, this helps to preserve the memories that person left behind. On the other hand, these reminders evoke dissonant, clashing emotions and result in confusion.
For me, it would just feel wrong to erase these traces of that person from the internet after their passing, though, even if that were possible. I have known friends who I met and interacted with online exclusively, and though I lost touch with one of those friends, recently I learned through a mutual friend that the girl I had lost touch with had died of cancer. Looking back at old websites and the conversations and images left behind was chilling in a way, but the thought of destroying this evidence of existence was appalling to me. It would feel like desecrating a grave.