Over Thanksgiving break while sitting with my family and watching TV the picture above was being discussed on the news. This picture apparently caused controversy because it was targeted at a specific group of people. A discussion started about the picture and I thought my family was clearly ignorant because they found no problem with this picture. From the knowledge I acquired in GWS, I started to preach about fat shaming and how brain washed they were about the ideal beautiful body. I couldn’t understand why my family failed to see that this picture was problematic. After about an hour of being angry because my family failed to understand my point which basically was people should not be concern with how people choose to look because comparing people only perpetuates the commercialized representation of the ideal beauty. I sat in my room thinking about some of their points and this caused me to question my own point of view. My family disagreed with my point of view, they argued that if we continued to turn the blind eye to issues such as obesity due to unhealthy eating habits because someone feelings may get hurt will not solve the problem. I agree with them to some extent because it probably will not solve the problem but I think it’s how the issue is being addressed that causes the problem. Not so much because it’s being addressed. A question was asked by my uncle that I could not answer; he asked when it was too much to ignore? A part of me wanted to say it’s never too much if the individual though they were fine and were comfortable with themselves but I knew this was not a smart answer because at some point issues such as consumption of excess unhealthy snacks is a problem, this could potentially kill you. Looking at the picture I saw it too be problematic because of the many stories I have heard and learnt about having to do with fat shaming but I ask myself now if I was too sensitive of this topic and as a result I acted in a defensive manner. I could see where this picture was taken and blown out into something bigger than it needed to be. I also ask myself this question when is it too much that it must be recognized and addressed without being accused of fat shaming or bullying.
Unruly Bodies 
So, I have also heard about this photo and the controversy it’s caused. The problem with this image (or rather, the deliberate message behind it) and others like it isn’t that this woman is saying others should be healthy like she is, but that she’s saying that if she can be “fit and healthy” with three kids to care for (and after having carried and delivered them) then no one should have any excuse for not ALSO being healthy and fit. If you were feeling defensive about this, you were right to. This kind of message tells us that obesity is something that we can easily control, or even control at all. Perhaps some of us (myself included) do have responsibility over our unhealthy lifestyles and resulting obesity. But it’s not always or often that simple, and it’s not always something that the individual in question can control. Additionally, at what point are we saying that the life of one person should be dictated or regulated by the opinions of another? After all, the debate with your family is simply that: the formation of opinions about the lifestyles of others based on what you and your family have deemed acceptable. In essence, I’m not allowed to be obese or be okay with my obesity because other people think it’s unhealthy, unflattering, or dangerous. And there are women like the one in this picture telling the world that I could be thin if I wanted to, and that I’m not because I’m not determined, controlled, or virtuous enough to be. And I should want to be, because that’s what’s best according to society, according to this woman, according to your family, and even according to you. When someone asks you “when is it too much to ignore?” flip the script. Why should my life be determined by someone else’s standard of acceptable? Why should I have to be bullied and shamed into hiding or weight loss or eating disorders because someone else thinks I’m in danger? Isn’t it my body, and my right? Aren’t there ways beyond shaming and bullying to encourage our society to be healthier? Shouldn’t we perhaps be focusing less on making fat people feel crappy for their weight and more time focusing on how to teach others to not be insensitive bullies? Shouldn’t we put our energy into making a tolerant society that emphasizes health at every size rather than condemning two-thirds of the population for not conforming to unrealistic beauty standards? In my opinion, your initial response to the image was right. It is problematic. And truly, the rising rate of obesity in America doesn’t need to be ignored, but we also can’t dictate the lives of others. There are much more constructive ways to encourage health than bullying.
What really makes me angry about this picture is how it’s basically delivering an extremely aggressive, demeaning message, but with a smile and cute babies. To me, this isn’t about being healthy at all; it’s about being competitive with other women. What sucks is how the pursuit of “health” (really, thinness) is so valorized in our culture, that bullying about it is not seen as such. It’s seen as being positive and encouraging.
Also, I feel like there’s something creepily Vichy France-ish about an image depicting the super muscular mother with tons of uniformed babies. Like, that’s the “ideal” woman and all the rest of us are degenerate.
I saw this image a few weeks ago and also had mixed messages about it. As a mom of a almost 7 years old I struggled for years to lose the 60lbs he added on (and my doctor still thinks I have 30 to go). At first I was upset by the image because I did not have “an excuse” I exercised and ate as healthy as I could and just did not lose the weight. Then after thinking about it I thought good for her. If she was able to do it, if her body ALLOWED her to lose the weight then she is a lucky woman. While we have control over our bodies there is a point where our bodies do have the power.
My main issues with this is the fact that it seems to target moms. As if we don’t have enough to stress about. Why isn’t there a picture of a Man, cooking in the kitchen, taking care of the kids and super muscular? Women are expected to do it all, and look good while we are doing it.