This past Friday I finally had a date with the guy I really liked for about six months, who also happens to live in Pennsylvania. I don’t fall for people very often..but when I do, I fall HARD. We’re talking send-a-care-package-in-the-mail-just-because-you-have-a-busy-semester kind of hard. And folks, it went horribly on Friday. I’ve been putting the list of things in my head that made this night turn into a similar scenario to the bombing of Pearl Harbor (maybe I’m a bit dramatic..but here it is):
a) I cared way too much about how he felt when I’d take a bite into my food, make a corny joke, or even walk in front of him.
b) I asked him on the date, but I didn’t exactly have anything planned. So he had to make all of the decisions…which didn’t please him.
c) I got stuck in traffic on the way there and didn’t even show up to his house until 7pm…two hours after he anticipated me to be there.
d) Since our relationship was mostly just texting each other, we had entirely different expectations of how each person would act.
So everyone, even though all of these disasters happened throughout the date, I somehow….SOMEHOW….really believed it was a good idea to try and kiss him. How do you think that went? You’re absolutely right, it was more awkward than a giraffe when it’s trying to drink water out of a lake (Google-image it). I left and haven’t talked to him since.
You know what though? I don’t regret any of it. Who’s to say that girl can’t make the first move? I was tired of wasting my time batting my eyes in front of him waiting for him to ask me out. Who has time for that?! I think people are still taken off guard when girls make the first move, because for the longest time girls weren’t supposed to. We were meant to be the dainty ones that paint our nails and learn how to sew while looking off into the distance awaiting our Prince Charming to appear at our window with a rose and the entire Lord of the Rings dvd collection.
Even in a society where women can educate, be CEOs, run for office, and be single parents…we’re still looked at as strange or desperate or even crazy when we make the first move. And why does it make us crazy or desperate to go after what we want? It’s not like I’m asking for much. In the words of Hannah Horvath from the show Girls, “I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time and thinks I’m the best person in the world and wants to have sex with only me.”
Unruly Bodies 
I really like this post for many reasons. First, I think it is completely relatable. It is so hardtop try and not freak out and overthink what the guy is thinking. Secondly, I love that you put yourself on the line. That is something that I think is incredibly hard to do, so good for you. And the thing I like most about this post is when you list all of the things women can and do do in today’s world and yet if the woman makes a move or acts a certain way that would be fine for a guy looks desperate for a girl. I think that statement is very true and something that has not progressed or been changed when so many other things have. Either way I think it was great for you to put yourself out there and thank you for sharing your story!
I think it is very attractive when a female goes after what she wants. It means she is confident and knows what she wants –and even better- knows she can get it. Just because the female is doing the asking, does not mean it takes away any masculinity from the male. Some males are too terrified to ask some girls out, so it is a relief when the female makes the first move.
And if you are too shy, there are signals you can drop to encourage the guy to ask you out.
It’s unfortunate that the date did not go as planned, but then again, this probably just opens the door for someone even more unexpected and great to enter your life.
I really enjoyed this post. I think that often times society has placed many expectation on the female/ male gender roles. What’s there to say that women can’t do things outside of the norm? I agree with UMBC2015 for the comment on putting yourself out there and making the first move. Many people wouldn’t have! You wouldn’t have known what the outcome would have been.
I love this article because it really address a situation in which we have all come to terms to not think of as a problem. Guys asking girls out has always been the way so its not up for discussion. Especially living in a feminist progressing society and striving for complete equality, its time for people to break tradition. Meanwhile I will be searching for such confidence to do so, lol.
Hey there! First of all, kudos to you for taking the initiative and asking him out. I totally get falling hard for someone and feeling the pressure when the big day finally arrives. Your list of “disasters” made me chuckle, but hey, who hasn’t been stuck in traffic or had a different idea of how a date would go?
And let’s talk about making the first move. I’m all for breaking those traditional norms. It’s refreshing to see someone going after what they want. The awkward kiss moment? Well, we’ve all had those cringe-worthy moments. It happens.
Your perspective on challenging societal expectations for women is spot on. In a world where women can achieve so much, it’s crazy that making the first move can still be seen as strange or desperate. Your quote from Girls perfectly sums it up—we all just want someone who thinks we’re the best, right?
No regrets on your part, and that’s the spirit! It’s all part of the dating adventure, and at least you took a chance. Keep rocking that go-getter attitude! 🚀