Long way to Happy
I know this is the title to one of my favorite sings from Pink!’s album “I’m Not Dead” but it poses the question; just how long really? Until happiness?
I have been on antidepressants and anxiety medication for the past six years, after off and on therapy for 3 years before. Now I am not trying to write a sob story here. I am a strong and independent women. I am outgoing and have a bubbly personality, which is what confuses people I think- about these illnesses. Depression does not mean you are always in a bad mood
As the years have gone on, I began to wonder how long I will have to be on prescription medication. How long until my brain and body is able to sustain control on its own? How long until happy?
This is my disability, for I can adamantly see a difference in my mood from when I skip or miss a dosage. The difference is a very uncomfortable feeling that just reminds me that I am strong enough to cope without them…Yet!
Are these medications helping me or disabling me more?
Unruly Bodies 
Are these medications helping me or disabling me more?
Wow, that question blew my mind! I have never been on depression or anxiety medication before and I just assume that you take it and feel better. I have often thought that people with depression have a disability because our society is so obsessed with happy and pleasant. People very seldom worry about what negative emotions are like and how to work through them.
“Are these medications helping me or disabling me more?” I don’t think the answer to that is as clear cut as we would like. You would have to answer, for yourself, “What do I define as a disability?”
Even though there are laws in place to prevent discrimination, prejudices and stigmas still exist in our society. I’ve had depression since middle school but I have never been to see a psychiatrist. Out of the fear of being overlooked for leadership roles in the workplace, I don’t think I will ever go get diagnosed or treated. Being undiagnosed, I have to find other ways to cope with depression. However, it allows me greater freedom from stigmas and prejudices. It allows my depression to remain unknown, and as a result, does not disable me from accomplishing certain things. For example, I was considering on applying to be a contestant on the next cycle of America’s Next Top Model. But to be eligible, “You must be in excellent physical and mental health” and “If selected for interviews, you must also submit to physical and mental examinations by medical professional(s) in Los Angeles selected by the Producers and meet all physical and psychological requirements”. If I were diagnosed for depression, it will not make me disabled in the eyes of the society, but would also make me feel more [mentally] disabled.