When I was obese, I thought that losing weight would solve many of my problems. I would be able to fit into straight-size clothing, my body would draw no notice due to its size, and I would feel better naked — messages all around me said these things would happen, and I believed it. However, I have found that weightloss is bad at delivering on such promises. 

I had gained weight very quickly. First, when I was a teenager because of some medication I was on, and then in adulthood due to eating at restaurants a lot when I started dating my husband — “happy weight”. My skin became covered in stretch marks to accommodate what had to fit under it. I lost the weight more slowly, a now eight-year journey not yet completed. I’m about eighty pounds down from my highest weight. But I don’t always feel better about my body.
Because of how my body is proportioned, I still wear some of the same size clothing as I did when I was heavier. My XL pajama pants and elastic-waisted skirts still fit pretty much the same. I even wear the same size of underwear. Wherever those eighty pounds came off of, it was not my lower stomach, or ass. But I sometimes get funny looks when I go into a plus-size clothing store, because I don’t seem to belong there. “Regular” clothing doesn’t always fit, or is cut in unflattering ways (WHY are “hipster” jeans a thing? They do not cover my stomach at all, even when they “fit”!). I am still upset that I can no longer wear Lane Bryant bras, because they were the absolute best. Having to deal with poor-fitting garments of inferior quality was not a problem I counted on gaining when I lost.
At some point, my body stopped drawing glares from people who disapproved of its size, so in a way, that goal was met. However, it now receives unwanted attention in other ways. I have been hit-on and catcalled more since the weightloss, and I was briefly grabbed by a man once, which was an extremely terrifying experience (and thank God, over very quickly.) These kinds of things didn’t usually happen to me when I was larger size, and I am not at all flattered by or happy about this type of attention. To me, it has been a definite downside of weightloss.
A major way that I have felt disappointed by my “progress” is that my skin is now very loose. People who choose to get tummy tucks and leg-lifts receive criticism for their plastic surgery, but I totally understand it. When I was larger, my skin actually fit — it was the right size for my body. It had custom-tailored itself to me, as it let out its own seams wherever needed. However, it’s less talented at taking itself back in. The clothing I wear over it masks and reshapes it, but I have very little confidence in my naked form. My face even got saggy.

In our society which touts weightloss as a sort of magic solution to all of our problems, It’s easy for many of us to strive for it with the thought that things will get better. And in many ways, I do feel better at my current size. But when I think about it, I do sometimes wish that I had instead focused my energy on learning to love myself and be happy at my former size.