My internet persona, which does not acknowledge or talk about the issues that plague my true, physical self
Every time I have had to write a blog post for this class, I have ended up sitting in front of the computer for what feels like hours, thinking through all the different personal stories I could share. I find a lot of the posts on this blog fascinating because I could not imagine being so open about my life online. I am afraid of letting the world know that I have problems just like everybody else.
I’m just going to try to articulate my feelings in a way that does not fill me with fear. Note, as you read this post, how I still won’t talk about the actual shit that went down the past several years of my high school and college life.
First of all, I remember talking about how deeply sad I was (I forget the exact circumstances that compelled me to do this) in a Facebook note I typed up in 8th grade. Almost immediately after I published the note, one of my cousins privately messaged me and told me that what I did was absolutely not cool. Here is what he said in a nutshell, since I can’t retrieve the old note or his message off that middle school Facebook account I deleted: “What the hell did you just write? Do you know who could see this? Employers, admissions committees, everyone that has a stake in your future! You can’t let them know that you have these negative feelings. No one likes a negative person. If you need to talk to someone, just talk to me or your immediate family.” Given that my cousin is a pretty bright guy that is very mindful about his professional life, I of course listened to what he had to say, and since then, I have generally not made it very clear how I actually feel about things on social media (with the exception of Tumblr…although ever since last semester when someone decided to send a screenshot of one of my blog posts to The Retriever Weekly as newsworthy content related to the SGA election, I have not been particularly open on Tumblr either).
I honestly feel stunted in my ability to really express myself online; as if the “hyper-connectivity” that we achieve through the internet is somehow disabling my ability to be a real, multi-dimensional person online. I know the world does not revolve around me, but for years now I have had this deep fear that employers or perhaps graduate and medical school admissions committees would find something compromising that I wrote online, something that points to some grave weakness or flaw in my being, which would then nullify all the work that I have done in my public life to advance my academic and professional standing.
Unruly Bodies 
I think it’s really big of you to be able to talk about your fear. I feel like you said what many of us are thinking, and said it really well. I was once fired from a job for something I said about the job on a message board. Even though the thing was completely true, they felt it hurt their image, and it was easier for them to fire me than to fix the problem I had written about. I think many of us would have some tale of a consequence we faced from an online posting. The trouble is figuring out where to draw the line, how vague to be, and how to play to our audience.
Thankfully, I do think the internet has changed a little since you were in 8th grade. I find that when I post about my feelings on facebook, I get a lot of support, not criticism, and I see my friends receiving the same when they share, too. I think also now that we’re all adults, we relate to each other differently than we did as young teenagers. We understand each other better and want to support one another. I think that you should make a friends-group (such a wonderful feature!) on FB of people you trust, and try opening up to them, a little bit at a time, and see what happens. I hope that the end result is that you eventually feel emboldened to share the Story of You with more people.
I can relate to you completely. I feel as if I have to perfectly curate what I publish online out of fear that I will be viewed as less of a writer. Even now, I post very little on Facebook, usually posting a photo with a short caption. But what is there to be afraid of exactly? Self expression is all we have.
I totally understand and can relate to you. I’m also not a fan of public writing. While some of my reasons are similar to your, I think my main reason is because I am unsure of the uncertainty of the prompt and how to go about articulating my thoughts in a way that is accepted on social media and blogging. When we were told about this assignment I was intimidated. I would have much rather do actual acedemic papers (no matter page number) than a blog. It took me a few hours to actually think about a topic and to actually be able to share it. I guess in a way that is how our educational system has taught us to be. As early as middle school we were taught to write structured papers and this is reinforced for most of our educational years. So it is difficult, or at least for me, to break the habit.