As a young child my distant cousin was diagnosed with down-syndrome. This is a kid whom never loses a smile on his face no matter what the world may throw at him during the day. He had a tough time growing up since his learning abilities were slightly delayed and completing daily functions like tying his shoes were a bit more difficult. But as he grew older he has been able to do just about anything that anyone else is capable of doing. He goes to school, works part-time, and even hangs out with friends on Friday nights after a long week. His sister told me a story once that turned my world around. I will be honest, I would use this word all the time but since that night my entire perspective has changed.
He came home after a long day, threw his backpack onto the ground, went into his room, slammed the door shut, and cried for hours refusing to speak to anyone because he was so hurt. His family will keep asking what was wrong and after so long his response was a quiet mumble about how someone whispered something about the “retard” at school during lunch. The word everyone is tossing around like it is nothing means so much more to my cousin since by definition he has mental retardation. That day at lunch the use of the word stuck to him and the tears didn’t end for a very long time that night. Things we may take for granted are very difficult for him. He has just as many flaws as you may have. If not even more, but these flaws do not define who he is. These kids and adults are capable of achieving just as much as anyone can and we are limiting them to their capabilities by defining them with this one word. So next time you think that teacher is “retarded”, or your homework assignment is “retarded”, or even if your friend listens to “retarded” music, think about the word you are using and how you are presenting yourself to others. Think about the kid who has the brightest smile, says hello to every face down the hall and is doing just as much as you are every day. Think about the kid who came home and cried his heart out because the word that means nothing to you may mean everything to someone else. So no I am not overreacting when you use that word around me. I think we as humans are so much better than that and one simple change as removing this word from our vocabulary will make a difference to someone else.
Unruly Bodies 
I hate that word as well. My sister uses it, and claims that “people aren’t retarded, they are mentally handicapped….. Things are retarded.” I keep telling her that the history of the word says otherwise, but she refuses to get it. We hear about the N word and the F slur, but we don’t really talk about the R slur as much as we should. Thank you for sharing this post! It starts a much needed conversation.
People use this word way too often. Back at my old university students gathered around a campaign called R-Word. It’s a movement that aims to spread awareness about ending the use of the word retarded in a negative manner. I’ll attach the link, check it out.
http://www.r-word.org/