These days, I find myself more and more annoyed when random people (mostly of the male variety) ask me where I’m from. There seems to be no genuine interest in inquiring about me as a person. No “hey, how are you..what’s your name?” After I’ve answered that initial question, I’ve often gotten comments about my “exotic” look. Like I’m some kind of animal on exhibit at the zoo. Sometimes, I’m not even asked where I’m from and they’ve already jumped to calling me out on my exotic look. It feels so aggressive. Calling someone exotic is the equivalent of dehumanizing them and boxing them into the category of “object” rather than individual. It is truly one of the most frustrating social things I have to deal with. I have to wonder if men are called exotic in this same way.
Granted, as a short, brown of unobvious origin, woman, I expect that people see and have questions. Our outer skin is the uniform by which we are identified. I get it. I really do get it. But it’s truly disheartening, when instead of looking into my eyes while having a conversation, men think looking in the general direction of my nipples will give them a view into my soul. I know I’m a woman, I know I have boobs, I know I’m brown, but more than that, I’m a human being and deserve to be regarded in the same way and with the same respect as would be shown to someone considered an equal.
I don’t know how to change my outer “look, in order to be seen as a sentient being. It’s not something I have chosen, and I don’t really think that I should constantly have to be made aware of the fact that I am, a short, brown, female. I am funny, smart, kind, and so many other things that aren’t immediately shown on my outer skin, but sometimes I wish they somehow could be. I am a human being and I should be spoken to like one.
Unruly Bodies 
As someone who is also short, brown, and female, I have also felt like this, although I have experienced this question more from white women. I always want to be nice and open-minded, but it feels so dehumanizing when the first question someone asks is, “Where are you from?”, before they ask me what my name is or what my major is or just make… normal small talk. It makes me feel like they only care about putting a label on my brown skin or confirming their guess that I am Indian and not about me as a whole, full person. Although, I will say that it can be funny when I constantly reply to their questions with “Maryland!” and watch them get more and more confused.
I can relate to this post so much. I have a very close friend from Ethiopian and she always tells me how most people would just assume her nationality before she even gets to say a word. She says she does not see it in a bad way, but rather embraces her difference.
I can understand where you’re coming from. I use to hate that word, exotic. I didn’t understand why I hated it when I was younger then I realized as I got older, how dehumanizing it was. Exotic like an animal.
Its frustrating when men treat women as objects to be talked at and not talked to. Thank you for your post.