I had a conversation with people I was close with about nurses who help disabled people find sexual pleasure. Someone brought up a documentary about the nurses who do this and I offered that I heard a little about it in my Unruly Bodies class. I told them briefly about our section on disabled bodies and the things we’ve discussed in class. The third person in the convo quickly scoffed and let us know she thought it was gross that, that’s a thing and they’re basically “prostitutes.” It became really uncomfortable for me and the other person once we both looked at each other and made eye contact. How do you even tackle a comment like that? The other person said ,”Well don’t they deserve pleasure too?” I chimed in that it’s not cool to use prostitution as an insult. She rolled her eyes and went on to say disabled people should accept they can’t have sex and repeated the word “gross” several times. I was really baffled at her statements because it was so ignorant in a number of ways. It’s also disheartening because I realized many people probably think just like she does. Sex is such a taboo topic in my culture and no one ever talks about it, let alone sex amongst bodies that are different from what society considers “normal” i.e. fat bodies, queer bodies, disabled bodies et cetera. The atmosphere surrounding our discussions in class are completely different from when I have similar convos with certain people in my life. I think it’s still important to continue to speak on these topics though, hopefully I can plant the seeds for people like her to look at things differently and become more open minded.
Unruly Bodies 
it seems like people with disabilities get stripped all things that make them human. A couple of days ago there was an episode on National Geographic Explorer where they were talking about masculinity. One of the guest on the show said that males are protectors which implied that men with disabilities couldn’t really express their masculinity because of their inherent weakness. So now I don’t have sex but that’s okay because I’m not truly a man LOL.
I am sorry you had to experience that.
It can be difficult to talk to people about bodies or body experiences that deviate from the “norm”, because usually those people think the only way to live sensibly in this world is to abide by social norms.
Anyone or anything that does not abide by social norms, is cast out as weird or gross. Any topic surrounding a body which deviates from the norm will be attacked in every way possible and stripped of its humanity for the sake of upholding the coveted “norm”.
The “norm” is safe and where most people’s comfort zone is.
I hope more discussions will shake people out of their comfort zones and I hope more people will be willing to come out of their comfort zones for the sake of others.
Hey there, I agree that it’s very offensive and unfair to deny people the opportunity to have pleasure in that form. Recently, I read about a woman with cystic fibrosis that is using her online fame to debunk stigmas around her condition, including sexual stereotypes about her condition too. She noted that people always assume that she can’t involve in that realm with no factual basis behind their assumption.
Completely agree with your point on continuing to talk about these issues with other people. It is a matter of educating others. I know, personally, before I took this class there were several issues that I did not understand and did not have much knowledge about but thanks to this class I now have a different view on many of these topics. Educating people on variety GWST topics will not only open minds for others but it will also lead to a better and safer world.