In a poem titled “Ode to My Bitch Face” Olivia Gatwood theorizes about some reasons why women have resting bitch face or R.B.F. She says that some are born with it, to some it is a defense mechanism they put up every day, and to some it is a “safe zone.” The resting bitch face according to Urban Dictionary is “a person, usually a girl, who naturally looks mean when her face is expressionless, without meaning to” and “A bitchy alternative to the usual blank look most people have. This is a condition affecting the facial muscles, suffered by millions of women worldwide. People suffering from bitchy resting face (BRF) have the tendency look hostile and/or judgmental at rest.” An important note here is that according to the editors of Urban Dictionary millions of women suffer from this “ailment.” Deeming R.B.F a condition suggests that is out of the norm, unhealthy, or something to be fixed. This term is generally associated with women and their bodies because when men make the same expression it is considered normal. Norms have been placed upon the bodies of women that require them to smile and look happy all of the time.
To some individuals R.B.F is associated with social anxiety.
“It ended up being something of a vicious cycle: My facial expressions were in part the result of my anxiety, yet being constantly judged for something I felt I had no control over also fed that anxiety. With every new employer or boyfriend’s parents or mutual friend that I met, I was convinced they would hate me because I came off brusque or disinterested. Often, this would turn out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
E.J Dickson offers a solution to this later in her article…
“To an extent, I feel like we shouldn’t place the blame on the RBF-haver, but on the society that diagnoses RBF as a problem: We need to adjust our expectations of how women should look all the time, so we’re not disappointed or personally offended when they fall short of them. But it’s hard to express just how tough it is to walk around with the knowledge that how you come off to the world is so much different than how you see yourself. There’s the lingering sense that all the tangled feelings of self-loathing in your head are right, that there is something wrong with you that is palpable to everyone around you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
Resting Bitch Face was originally known as bitchy resting face. The complete history of this phrase can be found here.
American sociologist Erving Goffman suggests that social success is based on an individual’s ability to control moods. This is also known as impression management. The inability to control facial expression is what leads to R.B.F and is what Goffman would consider poor impression management.
Click here to test if you have Resting Bitch Face… and a quiz just to be sure!
If you do, don’t panic! Click here to fix and prevent it!
Unruly Bodies 
I’ve seen something like this before. Many men that I know say that the women we know just “need to smile more”. It seems like an inevitable pattern. In some sort of study I forgot all of the details about goes somewhat along the lines of…”women smile some 30 or 40 times a day while men only smile 5 or 6.” Yet, women are told to smile more? That’s kind of biased. If anything, men need to smile more.
The phrase “resting bitch face” itself reflects that the person (most likely a woman sadly) default is anger or rudeness. This type of body policing is strangely popular and it’s scary to think that people in general but women in particular can’t just feel and express themselves without public opinion being place upon them. Men can be violent and perform toxic masculinity but no one really stops that type of behavior but when women are not performing happiness they become a “bitch” this societal equation is strange.
I am always left amazed at how much people feel like they are owed nothing but kindness, especially from women. It has been so conditioned in people to be kind that we can be tricked into thinking we are the wrong ones for not being kinder. For women, it can make or break whether you are a “b*tch” or not. I am also at odds with that word nowadays because people who are not women often use it to equate someone to weakness in some sort of female form. A man will call another man a “b*tch” for acting feminine, or say it to a woman to make her feel uncivilized. It is for reasons like this that the term RBF even exists, and that it has a negative impact on women. I am thankful for this blog post because it sheds light on a topic that more people should think about in their daily lives. RBF and the B word itself need more reconsideration from those who use the terms negatively.
Oh my, I got such a good laugh out of this title! I never considered RBF could be such a serious topic. Yes, I was born with RBF! I claim it. I don’t have a picture from childhood where it isn’t present. All my school pictures, it’s there. RBF. Did the photographer even ask me to smile? I remember growing up and people would always ask me “whats wrong?, why are you angry?” Into adulthood, I would get teased for having a perpetual frown. I’m just glad that someone has given my face a name. RBF. Yep, I claim it. Fully. I just feel glad that I have finally been diagnosed. Tired of saying, I’m not mad. I have learned to identify when I’m giving an unintentional glare and I tell myself to relax my face. I will admit though RBF does come in handy when I don’t want to talk or be approached, like when I’m walking my dogs on the hiking trail and I need to be quick about it but other dog walkers want to chit chat. Nope. RBF… activate! I have learned to embrace my resting bitch face. It is what it is.
As someone who has worked retail for most of my life, I constantly worry about my RBF. I used to work at a massive chain and was nervous that I would get distracted and zone out and just rest my facial muscles causing those around me to feel intimidated. To this day I constantly worry about looking too aggressive and especially with all the stereotypes inflicted upon women of color, it feels detrimental. There can be some good to the RBF, when I’m in public and feel uncomfortable or unsafe, I usually place that look on my face purposefully so those around me know I’ve got my defenses up, it’s helpful but deep down I wonder if it could end leading to the wrong reaction. That’s just how womanhood is in modern society, you try to fix something to please and then it’s too much and if you continue the old practice you’re a prude and not fun.
Thank you for tackling the issue of Resting Bitch Face (R.B.F.) and its societal implications. The post highlights how women face unfair scrutiny for their natural facial expressions, leading to self-consciousness and social anxiety. The term “condition” suggests an unrealistic expectation for women to always appear cheerful, impacting their self-esteem.
Personal experiences shared, like the self-fulfilling prophecy of being judged, emphasize the emotional toll of societal expectations. E.J. Dickson’s perspective on shifting blame from the individual to society calls for a redefinition of how women should look, urging understanding and acceptance.
The mention of Erving Goffman’s impression management adds a sociological lens to the pressure individuals face to control their moods for social success.
In essence, your post prompts reflection on the need for a more inclusive definition of “normal” expressions, inviting readers to consider the impact of societal expectations on women’s well-being.