How do you define success?
I have gone back and forth with this for quite some time but I finally feel as though I have an understanding of what it means to me to be successful. If you had asked me 5 years ago what “success” meant, I would have said having money. I used to think that the only way to be successful in my life was to have extreme amounts of money. Happiness didn’t matter to me because I thought it would just increase as my bank account did.
5 years ago I thought this way because the people I surrounded myself with. I was in an awfully abusive relationship and I would throw myself into my work to avoid being around my boyfriend. I thought if I worked a lot and had money, I could buy things that would make me happy and that would be my form of success. I had very ambitious goals for myself that would have forced me to be consumed with work for the rest of my life. I wanted people to aspire to be me and to have my level of success.
Fast forward to now: I am in an amazing relationship with the person I know I will spend the rest of my life with.
I now have a new definition of success; happiness. Those ambitious, crazy goals I had for myself? Out the window. I still of course have things I want to do in life, however, I have scaled down (in my opinion) my goals. Since I could remember, I wanted to be an doctor. I wanted to be a big fancy doctor that everyone envied. More recently I really thought about my career choice and how the rest of my life would look if I followed through with that choice. *disclaimer* There are countless doctors that have families and are able to devote so so much time to them, that is 100% not what I’m about to say. The specialty I wanted to go into was a very competitive and demanding one. One that needed my complete focus for at least the next 8 years. Was I ready to give the next 8 years up?
I finally had come to the decision that PA school would be better for me. (Of the PAs vs doctors I have talked to*) I have heard that PAs overall have a better life/work balance and their work is less demanding but still just as rewarding. I want to be able to start a family sooner because that was now #1 on my list. I of course got so much backlash from my family and even some friends, but it really didn’t matter to me. Now that I had met my perfect match, being happy mattered. I will still be successful, no matter what I do. Maybe not by my old standards, but I will be able to take care of those around me and that is all that matters.
Unruly Bodies 
First, I love this for you! I’m so glad you found your own definition of success and lined it up for yourself, that is amazing! Second, in many ways I can relate. I fully believed when I was younger that I was going to be independent and rich and achieving that would allow me to feel successful. But, then I met my significant other and understood that money has nothing to do with success. It is so important to look within yourself and analyze your morals and goals before you can ever define success for yourself. It is also important to never let anyone impose their view of success onto you, so I’m really glad you found yours!
As a premed, I can relate to once thinking that success was about getting into the most competitive specialty and making as much money as possible. The medical field is definitely one that attracts overachievers and those that tend to be quite hard on themselves. On top of that, because it is so demanding, it can feel as though your entire life revolves around getting the title of doctor, and therefore success, which is frankly exhausting, so congrats to you for being able to step out of that mindset and chose a path that makes you happy.
Amazing in every way! The fact that you found your own definition of success is amazing to me. Society as made to where having money is success which is true a tiny bit but the real success in life is happiness and defining your meaning. We were taught as kids that working, having money, and a family is the end of life but that’s not the case. Its how you live your life and define it with memories that define who you are. You found your success through life and that is amazing. I’m happy for you and support you 1000%. Keep working hard!