Winters are tough. Fewer hours of sunlight, the cold weather, and the abundance of everyone getting boo-ed up. It’s safe to say that a lot of people feel lonely during these holiday months and it’s imperative too since you sometimes need someone to keep you warm and keep you company. The holidays are also a time where families get together and rejoice with each other. But, damn, my ass is single AGAIN this year.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I could handle another couple TikTok on my ‘for you’ page. The Tiktok usually consists of the guy doing something that is really the bare minimum, but always nice to see, followed by some more good qualities and then a face check, in which I have to utter, “Wow, he’s handsome”. The comments are always “You get that off of Amazon?” and my favorite “How does it feel … TO LIVE MY DREAM”, which I almost always respond to when I see stuff like this. When you see a cute couple, it’s supposed to leave a warm feeling inside. Not for me. I feel bitter and that’s okay. To be honest with you, I have not been in a relationship in a long time. I always tend to put it off for later. I have school, work, oldest-daughter-of-an-immigrant-family responsibilities, and lots and lots of hobbies. But, when I do complain that I want a boyfriend, I open a dating app, take a look, and I immediately close it. The guys they show … aren’t my favorite. If some of my aunties were around me, they’d probably told me that I have to make sacrifices and that my ideal guy might not exist. Miss gurl, I’m not about to lower my standards for NO ONE. I have been showered in gold chains since birth. I am educated with a degree in book smarts and a reputation in street smarts. I cannot set the bar low when I am the highest bar there is to reach. It’s my confidence talking when I mention all the good points about me. My parents are lucky to have a daughter like me, and I know they are proud. And I’m proud knowing that when families come to our house to try and ask for my hand, and the guy’s only good quality is that he “sometimes cleans after himself, he’ll change after marriage”, they will not accept that. I’m one of a kind.

It’s also kind of lonely. I have to turn over some dull rocks before finding my diamond. I plan on taking my time with that. I kind of already thought of what my ideal type might be, but he might be too good to be true. Nonetheless, I will keep looking for him.

Okay … I’m gonna get religious for a bit so please, bear with me. I am a Muslim and we believe in soulmates. There is a quote that someone had made based off of the readings we do that states, “50,000 years before the sky was introduced to the sea, Allah wrote down your name next to me” and that is enough to keep me going and keep me looking. It brings tears to my eyes since it’s such a raw emotion that almost all of us have experienced; love.

So, as the winter wind blows and your shivers start, keep those around you warm and remember the people who don’t have someone.