Invisible disabilities… many think of mental disabilities, and maybe at times they are highlighted too much, but with the culture my family is a part of, mental disabilities aren’t even considered to be a legit thing.

Growing up, there were times when I had acted odd, and while my parents would scold me, they never took into account why I did those actions, they simply ask, “what’s wrong with you?”. I was a quiet kid with good grades, sounds like a parent’s dream right? Although, it wasn’t what I wanted, that’s something I had to deal with, I became a socially awkward and recluse child in elementary school and only had begun to come out of my shell throughout middle and high school. Being a kid with a lot of time sitting in my bedroom got me thinking of why I do what I do. I slowly realized that I might have some form of anxiety and/or depression, at 14-years old, I had to spiral to get to that point. Spiral. Afterwards, I had rebelled hard against my parents when I realized, and it also threw me deeper into my anxieties. When they asked me again, “what’s wrong with you?”, I exploded, I got frustrated with their ignorance and I told them about it all. How did they reply? “You can’t be depressed, that’s a serious issue”, and “you can’t have anxieties”, they also had said that I was too young to have either, that I wasn’t taking care of a family or paying bills.

Fast forward to 2018 my mother discloses to me about her mental health deteriorating with having to do more household related care vs my dad… and surprise, she got a diagnosis for anxieties. Great right? I thought I could ask for an appointment to talk with a doctor about my mental health afterwards with her approval, but she STILL didn’t believe me enough to even consider it. So now, I’m trying to wait it out, my goal is to graduate, and save up enough to move out and afford the initial appointment to find out what’s really been going on with me.