From the time children are born, they start experiencing things that will shape them into the person they will become. One way to look at how different phenomena can have meaning in our experience is through gender. Boys grow up being told that they have to be strong or be a leader, while girls are told that they should be nice and helpful. Boys are praised for being loud and sharing their ideas, while girls are bossy or seen as annoying if they are too loud. Boys have to be tough and not show emotion, while girls are emotional and cry a lot. Through these experiences and interactions centered around gender, children get the idea that either if they are a boy, they should be a protector or have control and if they are a girl, they should be quiet and be people pleasers. It is through daily experiences that these ideas are introduced and maintained.

I remember growing up seeing people make fun of girls that were too loud, too expressive, or too demanding. I remember being told that girls must change their appearance, their mannerisms, the way they speak to appeal to other people. These experiences influenced my way of thinking about who I am in terms of other people and what I should or should not do. It, in part, led me to believe that I should take up less space or be more of a listener. I should look or dress a certain way. I should shave and wear makeup. I often wonder if I would still feel the need to be a certain way if it wasn’t for being told that I had to be a certain way.

In class, when we were told to think about how we carry ourselves when we are walking or sitting, I thought about how when I’m sitting, I normally have my legs crossed or my arms crossed. When I am walking, I normally look down or move out of people’s ways. I believe this is also partly due to gendered experiences I have had. I have realized that not only have I been told to be a certain way, but I have also been told that if I am any other way that would be bad or not desirable. Although, just because I have had these experiences as a girl, not everyone in a similar position will have the same experiences.