Step 1: Get married
Step 2: Have kids
Now I will not lie, I dreamt of my wedding day since I was a kid. It is a want of mine but that want is slowly diminishing nowadays seeing the state of humanity. There is no compassion in people anymore, no empathy, no chivalry. Maybe I just have bad taste in men but why would I subject myself to entrapment if I won’t get all my needs met? Just like Dr.Kate said in class, more women now do not want to get married because men won’t do anything to help the house and more men want to marry in order to get out of doing housework. Why should I have to nag my husband to clean, to do simple chores? Wives are expected to mother their partners and later, kids. Not to mention that some fathers think of taking care of their own kids as babysitting. Frankly, it seems more like hell than a dream. The role of a wife is to cook, clean, and care for everyone in the family. The role of a husband is to work and do absolutely nothing after or cheat because life is too hard after having the kids they wanted.
Currently, my new favorite show to binge is “Desperate Housewives”. This doesn’t help my views of marriage and kids either, all the characters have real struggles when it comes to marriage and kids. The children lie and are complete menaces to their mothers, the trouble they go through to raise young kids and teens would honestly make me lose my mind. It happened to three of the mothers in the show, one checked herself into a mental institution after her son falsely accused her of abuse and her daughter ran away to be with a boy, one committed suicide over a crime she did to protect her psychotic son, one started popping Adderall like candy to be the perfect wife and mother. All their husbands have affairs or work so much that they are never home to help with the kids, leaving their wives to suffer alone. I know it is an exaggeration but it is a struggle for wives and mothers to have all these pressures on their shoulders. As someone who already struggles with mental health issues, being a mother and a neglected wife would be my last straw.
If your dream is to get married and have kids then of course follow your dreams but be realistic. The gender role of being a wife and mother makes you handle all the responsibilities alone, the husband won’t help much if even at all. Are you prepared to go down this path alone? Look at Dr.Kate, if she had kids she wouldn’t be able to go to Paris in January. Kids and marriage come with the cost of freedom and a whole lot of sacrifices as a woman. However, for men, it won’t devastate their life.
Unruly Bodies 
This gets me thinking on the kids side. In order for your kid to be good, you would need to raise them in the right environment and teach them to be good, not bad. This would also fall on the dad as well to help teach the kid on what is right and wrong.
While I can see where you’re coming from, and it is a pattern in men that I try to keep an eye out for (to avoid). I think there needs to be changes, but that doesn’t mean being pessimistic. Should it be on others to make a change in husband’s behavior? Shouldn’t it be on them? In the end, it will be on them to change, we can’t control other people. However, we can hold them accountable. Don’t do their chores for them. Leave them. If they aren’t willing to change, and want to stay stuck in their “traditional” views, then don’t give in.
This isn’t to put you down, or say that you are wrong, because I am equally infuriated by this consistent pattern. I will refuse to give into it.
(Unrelated, but really cool format for your post 🙂 )
I see where you’re coming with your post. These two things are huge steps and processes in life that if one takes can in fact ruin their life. That’s why I am always shocked when I see people rush into them so fast. I feel that marriage is 50/50 on ruining your life. If you’re smart and go into the smart way it could be the best decision you ever made. I know that as of right now and with who I am with I definitely want to get married one day and think it would be a good decision. Now, for kids I feel like that they’re always going to ruin your life somehow. Maybe that’s messed up for me to say, but hear my reasoning. You have to put everything in your life to the side to accommodate and take care of them, and what do you get in return most of the time disrespect or they turn out the opposite of everything you tried to teach them. Raising and having kids is a very selfless job. Maybe I’m selfish for my way of thinking, but I will not have kids due to the knowing I would not want to put my life in hold for them and the fear of them turning out to be a horrible person.
Also, I just want to say I watched desperate housewives when I was in middle school and absolutely loved the show!
I believe that marriages are doomed to fail as the phrase “until death do us part” usually meant another 20 years at the max or so. But with modern medicine, people live for too long and the traditions instilled when humanity’s life expectancy was 50 years are still being applied even when life is so much different.