I HATEEEEE to admit this but the day we talked about how much time goes into labor and preparing for labor, I just about cried in class. My eyes welled up with fat tears hearing the hours and hours and hours and HOURS of my life that were being wasted on school and work and preparing for school and work.
And it felt stupid that I was crying about it. I had been working since high school so it’s not like I hadn’t ever known or internalized this information. But, seeing all the hours calculated on the board intensified the feeling I always keep tucked away in my chest: I’m running out of time. My life is being spent in school and at work, instead of doing things that I actually enjoy. Instead of drawing and spending time with my loved ones, I’m putting my mind and body through hell for things that don’t even bring me joy or even satisfaction.
And we’re EXPECTED to do this. Expected to sacrifice our personal lives, our precious time with ourselves and our loved ones, for work and school. Because if we really cared about becoming successful in life, we would choose to make that sacrifice. I remember receiving a text in the group chat of colleagues I was added to when I started my new job. The text talked about how it was our responsibility as new employees to sacrifice our holidays and free time to work so that the senior coworkers could finally enjoy the holidays they had missed out on during all these years and years of service.
And for a lot of us, we HAVE to make that sacrifice play, whether it’s to make rent or to have enough to eat. Our bodies aren’t anything but tools for our employers to use until they’re unusable and unprofitable. And we HAVE to live this way if we want to survive and thrive in the current world we live in.
All of that really hit me all at once during that class discussion, all of these thoughts collected in the tears that were ridiculously close to spilling.
I think this is one of the reasons why it’s important to appreciate the time we spend with loved ones, ourselves included. Because those moments become a rarity as you grow up and have your time eaten by capitalism. Because those moments are what remind you that you are a PERSON, not just a tool.
Unruly Bodies 
I relate a lot to what you’re saying about not having enough time to do things you actually enjoy. It’s also hard to find time to figure out the things you enjoy when most of your time goes towards school and studying or going to work and commuting. The place I worked at over the summer let us have every other Friday off. But it came with a cost, we had to work 9 or 10 hours during the week to make up for the lost time on our off Fridays. So although it was nice, it didn’t always feel worth it because we had to add in those extra hours. It gave a false sense of freedom and flexibility from working. I think the standard 40-hour workweek rule seems a bit excessive and I wish there was a way to keep a flexible workweek and also be paid a reasonable livable amount.
I agree and I hope in the future, we don’t have to live like this and we’re able to maintaina healthy standard of living without it being at the cost of ourselves.
I also think about how we waste so much of our time on work related labor, and it’s all so we can survive. I feel that there should be more to life than just trying to survive. We should put our family and loved ones first. Getting to spend time with them means the most over anything else. I feel that is what life is made up of. Life shouldn’t be made up of working for countless hours and wearing down our bodies so fast causing us to have less time. I wish that the world was made in a different way where everything didn’t revolve around money forcing us to (what feels like to me) waste away working. Is there a way that this could have ever been possible at one point in time?
I very much wish the same. I’m not sure what would have had to have happened in the past to prevent the current state of things. Hopefully, we can change things for the future because it’s becoming more and more evident that this structure isn’t sustainable.
I feel this post so hard. I remember when were talking about this in class too. It gave me a feeling of sadness and anxiety. I also work part time and go to school full time and I hardly have to do anything at all. My family was pretty poor growing up and my parents did not go to college but they were to always tell that they wanted me to go. My family really pushed me to go which I understand for sake of me having being financially comfortable in life. I totally agree where you said that society really gravitates towards College being the only way out of financial struggle and many people expects young teens to figure out what they want to do as a career at such a young age and go to college right after High School which can be so stressful.
I’m sorry that you’re dealing with the same thing, I’m sending you warm hugs and tea!! It’s really hard dealing with this feeling but making sure I’m carving out time to myself, at the cost of these things that society values sometimes, helps me deal with it.