TW- body hate, body dysmorphia, bad eating habits, etc.
All my life, I’ve been incredibly insecure about how my body looks. I was either too big or too small or my weight wasn’t matching my height or one of the other hundred things I could find to hate about myself. And apparently, I wasn’t the only one who was thinking these thoughts. Sometimes my friends would make offhanded comments about my body and it would send me into a spiral of self-hate. Then there’s my family, who wouldn’t even try to hide the comments they would make and just tell them to me straight to my face. This resulted in years of bad eating habits, self-loathing, body dysmorphia, and more.
I’ll be the first to admit that I was a pretty chubby child and I’m definitely not the skinniest person now, either. Growing up, and even now, my parents would tell me to eat less and exercise more even though I was only 10 years old. Evidently, me playing soccer all my life wasn’t enough exercise for me. I’ll also never forget the time my friend told me “Oh my god, your body would look sooo much better if you were a few inches taller” as if I wasn’t already aware of that. Hearing this all throughout my childhood honestly set me up for failure when I grew older because that nagging voice in my head still hasn’t gone away. The voice is still telling me that I could always be skinnier, healthier, and prettier.
All of this also resulted in me having an eating disorder all through middle school and I’m still in recovery now. Even now, I skip meals or lessen my portions in hopes to be able to reach that “perfect body”. But, listening to some of the podcast episodes from the Maintenance Phase made me realize that there is no such thing as a perfect body. I can’t say I’m completely over my insecurities and everything that comes attached to them, but I do know there are people out there that are trying to help little girls who are already going through body hate, feel better and know the truth.
Unruly Bodies 
Hello!!
I think your post is really relatable to the contents that we learned in class and its also personally relatable to me. I as well have struggled and still struggle with learning to adapt healthier mindsets and behaviors. I often fall back into old habits and I know how frustrating it is. I’d love to listen to the episode you listened to, and I also agree with your point how i feel like now there are alot of influencers or people trying to chance the mindset of body images for our next generation!
I totally relate to your story. When I was younger I was a very chubby kid and my extended family would always praise my sister for being tall and skinner while I was short and chubby. They called her a model and called me ugly. It was so humiliating and ruined my self esteem. I would throw away food because I wanted to be skinny. Now that Im older I am too skinny because I still have a complicated relationship with food but I do try to gain weight so I can be at my “healthy” weight. I think people have so much to say about other people’s bodies but may not consider how it makes others feel. I am so proud of you for learning to love your body as it is, it really is hard to.
I feel that most people including myself can relate to your story. As we grow up we see these celebrities and public figures being idolized because of how skinny they are. We also see celebrities and public figures who are on the heavier side of things always being the punch line to a joke or treated incredibly badly just because of their weight. No wonder so many people develop eating disorders and body image issues. When you live in a society telling you you’re only valid if you’re skinny and look and act this specific way it’s hard not to hate yourself. Learning to love your body in a world and society like this is, is one of the greatest accomplishments you can ever do. Be proud of yourself!
Hi, I have a similar story to yours and it took me a while to get to a better place where I don’t feel bad about how I look or feel. I have realized after reading your post, it’s not that I don’t judge my body anymore, but that I critique it less and affirm myself that my body is enough for me. I wish it wasn’t on my mind 24/7 still, even if I’m not saying negative things it’s still on my mind and it drives me crazy. When I think about my body I’m also usually thinking about food and this leads to a never ending cycle of me not giving myself peace. As I said, I am in a much better place with my body, but the constant thoughts surrounding it are neverending. As you said, there is no perfect body just people with bodies and separating yourself from that identity is hard, but I know it can be done.
My parents have also critiqued my body since I was little. Coming from a pretty thin family that lived most of their lives in Europe I’m considered to be pretty big according to their standards. What they don’t take into account is the underlying health complications that no amount of exercise or diet can mold you into the “perfect” body. I’ve had to just force myself to let go and tell myself that I have to be happy with my body because it’s not changing.