A conversation we had in class was about how certain accommodations can negatively affect the others around you. That leads me to think about how certain things I do to comfort myself can be seen as nuisances to others.
Read more: Comfort may cause anxietyI often bite my nails and I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily an anxiety thing as it’s just something I do whether or not I feel anxiety at that moment. It was often expressed throughout my childhood that biting my nails was annoying because of the sound it can make. Most of the time I bite my nails it’s not something I thought of doing. It’s just something I do out of habit and it does have a calming effect on my mind so I don’t even realize.
Another thing is my pacing or fidgeting. I pace and fidget a lot and I am never sitting still. To sit still, I have to focus on not moving and when I do my body feels very uncomfortable. I was told that I distract people with my movements and they can cause people to become stressed out when that wasn’t my intention. Sometimes the movements are based on the music I’m listening to and my natural reaction is to go with the beat. Like biting my nails this is just something I do out of habit.
These things were never meant to cause harm to others and the worst thing is no one says anything about it anymore so I’m wondering constantly whether or not I am affecting someone. I think this puts into perspective what people with handicaps think. Since the world doesn’t accommodate them they have to worry about how their handicaps are not only affecting themselves but how they affect others as a whole. The anxieties I feel when I do these things I think to some severely lesser degree are what people with handicaps experience and if I feel stress from my things I can only imagine how they must feel as they have to struggle to feel comfortable in the world around them.
Unruly Bodies 
I also do these things to calm myself. So please do not feel alone. As someone who has difficulty staying still because it makes me uncomfortable, which makes it harder for me to focus, I understand. While sitting, I would shake one of my legs continuously, so much that once I stopped, I could still feel the sensation of shaking my legs. Even though what I do makes no noise, some people have been rude, telling me to stop or commenting about how they assume I feel because I shake my leg. Some people like to have a sense of control over others, which is why people comment telling others what to do or how to act. When I must stand for long periods, my legs will either hurt, or I get bored, so I shift my weight back and forth between my legs, which has caused teachers to call me out, make fun of me, ask if I need to pee or if I can’t control myself. Again, these things do not make noises but still irritate or distract others. Your feelings and habits are valid to help with self-soothing tactics, and people should not be rude to others for trying to take care of themselves. People need to treat others the way they want to be treated!
I understand how you feel. I often shake my legs in class, whether to wake myself up, because I’m nervous or excited about something, or sometimes just to keep myself busy. However, sometimes I suddenly realize that maybe it’s making my chair squeak, which could distract those around me. It’s hard to know what is the “right” answer in these situations, because it’s not the same for everyone. This reminds me of our discussions form the beginning of the semester about embodiment and phenomenology. Our lived experiences in our bodies are unique to each of us, and who’s to say who is right or wrong? Shaking my legs or fidgeting with my pencil can be a way to help me focus and ground myself in the moment, but it may not the same experience for those around me.