In 5th grade my mom thought I was going to get beat up, real optimistic of her. She thought because I was a smart, Jewish, mixed girl about to go to a middle school in what she deemed the “ghetto” that I would have to learn how to fight. We will never know if she was right in my destiny to get beat up in middle school, because we ended up moving to a different school district. Nevertheless, before the move she enrolled me in Taekwondo. I still have the trophies in my room, and whenever I look at them, I think of how in competition I was one of maybe three girls in said competition and how as a single mother she decided to pay for all the equipment and classes that came with the fear that because of my race I would be more at risk.
I remember four things from Taekwondo; being out of breath while trying to run up and down the stairs trying to keep up with everyone else, having to retake my belt test because I couldn’t do a sit up, someone asking me when my mom picked me up if I was adopted, and how to count to seven in Korean. Three out of four of those memories do not speak highly of my sporting experience.
The conclusion is, I don’t know, sports are neutral. While I had less than ideal experiences, I know that for a lot of people sports are a great confidence builder and especially martial arts can make people feel more protected and surer of themselves. That was just not the case for me. Sports became something that I had to do as a child, not something for joy. Even when I did dance it was more for having something to do than the actual sport itself. This experience of doing a sport for non-sporting reasons has led to my middling views today.
Unruly Bodies 
For what it’s worth, I don’t think that you’re alone in the idea that sports can be…problematic. Most of the parents I know either get their kids into sports because they are trying to urge them out of their introverted shells, or because they played that sport and they loved it and they assume their kids will too. It becomes more about parental expectation rather than a way for a child to be physically active and do something that THEY love.
As a mother, I have been guilty of encouraging a sport or activity because I thought it would be good for my kids. We have had varying results from that, but we have also always told our kids that if they aren’t passionate about something, then they don’t have to do it.
If nothing else, you ended up with a pretty cool trophy. xoxo
This is very interesting because I was also unwillingly enrolled in tae kwon do. I did it for about seven years and hated every second of it. I was one of very few girls that did it and I always had to compete with boys. I was very angry with my parents for those years so I definitely understand where you’re coming from for that part. I feel like understanding what your child likes and letting them do that is far better than forcing them into a sport just because you like it.
When it comes to sports it seems like everyone has different experiences, but one thing that most of us have in common is that if we played sports, it was mostly because our parents wanted us to and gave us access to the sports that they thought were important/necessary. It also seems like our parents decisions and actions surrounding sports dictate how our experiences go. Parents who enrolled their children in self defense because of their fears might have children who did not like the sport, but maybe parents who enrolled their children in self defense because their kid had an interest in it might have children who are enjoying themselves! I think parents should follow their child’s lead instead of the other way around. I am not a parent though, and it’s definitely easier to comment from the outside than have to do the real deal parenting thing!
Growing up I always admired my classmates who were able to do ‘fun’ extracurricular activities that my parents never bothered to enroll me in. With time, I have realized that everyone’s lived experiences are different. It is entirely valid for you to feel that sports are neutral for you, as you have your own experiences and memories with them. Your post reminds me of themes touched on by Torres et. al., such as how individuals have perceptions of who should be doing what sport, which is perpetuated by societal expectations and behaviors. Now, I hope you are able to do whatever it is that you enjoy!