I’ll admit it—I’ve heard “you throw like a girl” more times than I care to count. And every time I hear it, it hurts my pride at least. So it always made me want to prove them wrong. But then I came across “Throwing Like a Girl” by feminist philosopher Iris Marion Young, and it completely changed how I thought about that phrase. Young doesn’t just talk about throwing a ball; she dives deep into how society shapes the way women use their bodies. According to Young, the reason girls tend to throw without using their full bodies isn’t because they can’t—it’s because they’ve been conditioned to hold back. This social conditioning fosters self-doubt and a fear of judgment, leading to self-consciousness and unhealthy comparisons. In order to see this, we need to challenge these societal norms and encourage women to embrace their physicality and confidence. In defining this confidence it means embracing yourself, taking risks, and being bold about who you are. It’s about recognizing that your worth is not defined by how others see you, but by how you see yourself.”She writes, “Girls do not bring their whole bodies into motion… they tend to remain relatively immobile except for their arms” (p. 142). 

This really resonates with me. It’s not just about throwing; it’s evident in how we sit, walk, and carry ourselves. There’s this unspoken rule that women should take up less space, move carefully, and be less bold. We’re told not to be too smart or show too much emotion, and we constantly worry about our outfits being too revealing or not revealing enough. These expectations limit our authenticity and confidence. Recognizing these societal pressures is the first step toward embracing our true selves and challenging those constraints. Young argues that this isn’t about biology. It’s not that girls are naturally less powerful in their movements; it’s that society tells us, from a young age, that we should be. She states, “We reduce women’s condition simply to unintelligibility if we ‘explain’ it by appealing to some natural and ahistorical feminine essence” (p. 138). This highlights the danger of oversimplifying women’s experiences. It makes me reflect on how often society tries to define women through fixed, supposedly “natural” traits, ignoring the complex social and historical influences that shape our identities.

Reading this passage made me think about how I carry myself. I’ve always been told to sit neatly, cross my legs, and keep my arms tight. But why? Boys don’t get the same message. They’re taught to sprawl, take up space, and own their physical presence.  Young’s essay made me see that these differences are deeply rooted in the expectations placed on us. It’s not just about how we throw—it’s about how we’ve been taught to exist in the world. And maybe it’s time we start throwing like we mean it and being seen as we truly are and not what people see us as.