(Trigger Warning: mention of ABA therapy)
Although I haven’t formally been diagnosed with autism, the understanding is that if you feel as though you have autism you should treat yourself as if you have autism. As the Stevenson article discussed the infantilization of autism erases the existence of autistic adults. But, here I am an autistic adult. I can discuss my experiences with autism.
I did not have any experience with ABA therapy. At best it seems controversial at worst it looks problematic. As we discussed in class if we have adult autistic representation in the ways of them talking about their experience with ABA therapy and how destructive it can be. Then, this would lead to a capitalist problem, in that, it would lead to the multibillion-dollar industry of ABA therapy to its demise.
Growing up I would stim, have trouble with eye contact, not understand or be able to read emotions, and was just in general weird. Not to associate negatively with the word weird just like atypical, not a part of the norm, not “normal.” Whatever that means. No one noticed. Maybe I became really good at masking? Later in life, I thought I had ADHD, another invisible disability, this explained the stimming, but not the other symptoms. But, here I am an autistic adult. And I’m confused about what I should do in the future. A diagnosis is much too costly and I don’t know if it would help. I guess I will just be emboldened by community.
Unruly Bodies 
I’m in a very similar situation to you: undiagnosed, knowing that a diagnosis is far beyond my current reach. I’ve also never experienced ABA therapy, but I have heard nothing but horror stories from those who have; The only positive reviews I’ve seen have been from the parents of autistic children. As the reading (and you) mentioned, this is exactly why it’s important to include autistic people in the conversation on ABA therapy. I think your solution here is best, which is just finding a community who supports you. It’s my personal belief that autism doesn’t need to be cured, but rather it’s symptoms should be alleviated and accommodated as needed.
I really appreciate you sharing your story. It’s so validating to hear someone talk about the struggle of not having a clear diagnosis and just feeling “different” without the proper language or understanding of why. Your point about self-identifying with autism, even without a formal diagnosis, really resonates. It’s empowering to realize that your experiences are valid regardless of labels. And the mention of ABA therapy hits home too—so many people have had harmful experiences with it, and I think more conversations about its impact could help change the narrative. Thanks for being so open about this!
Thank you for sharing your journey so openly. Your experience really highlights the complexity of living with an invisible disability, especially when society often overlooks or misunderstands it. I really appreciate how you’ve pointed out the importance of community and self-validation, especially in the absence of a formal diagnosis. Your perspective on ABA therapy is also eye-opening, and it’s crucial to have conversations about how harmful practices can be in the name of ‘helping.’Your words are a reminder of how important it is to respect and support the unique needs of each individual, and to embrace the strength that comes from understanding ourselves.
I completely understand and relate to your struggles. I’ve had a therapist tell me I’m “walking the fine line between ADHD and autism.” But what does that even mean? It’s incredibly difficult to tell if you’re neurodivergent when you’ve grown up with the idea of masking being constantly reinforced. Especially with the barriers in the way of some individuals receiving a formal diagnosis when it’s the most accessible from a young age, when those who were assigned female at birth, people of color, and other such minorities already have the idea of acting “normal” reinforced constantly.