Or, the memories held in skin and body mods and the fear of permanency.

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I love tattoos, and I have a lot of ideas for what I want to get on my body. Well author, why haven’t you yet? Tattoos are scary! They’re painful, and once they go on, you can’t move them (without lasers, or something, and quite a bit of money.). I also want my life to be Meaningful (definition pending). This is why dying my hair, cutting my hair, and piercings are Big and Scary, 

I, however, do have ideas for my First Tattoo. If you’ve seen I Saw The TV Glow, you’d probably remember this little guy; 

This is a symbol of transness; of love, of connection, of a ‘psychic link’ in the show. Me and my partner are both trans* (me being genderfluid and him being agender), and both of us are on the aromatic spectrum, I think this is a very good first tattoo. I’m queer, this is a queer symbol, in queer media by a queer director. 

Well, author, another question: what is the delay? And might I say, besides my partner wanting a solo tattoo for his first, I’m afraid that this movie will fall out of a positive light. Either with time aging it’s message or the creator (heaven forbid) doing awful stuff. I don’t think this would happen, but I’m always caught up with what-ifs. 

The discussion we had slightly eased up my anxiety; not many other people are thinking as deeply about the tattoos I’d have. The self-monitoring I conduct on myself is a result of the things we’ve talked about in class. Maybe, when I get the money, I’ll get a tattoo of my late rabbit as my ‘starter’.   We also talked a lot about transness, but honestly, I feel like my thoughts are too complicated and maze-like for me to put in a blog. I’ll just say that I don’t feel the need to take labels; I’m everything and nothing. I’m what you think I am because I know what I am.

Thank you for reading! I know my posts have been practically double the required length, but I just like yapping. Free form writing is fun, and we don’t often get to do it! 🍄🍂