I don’t need to be seen
I ask Google is it possible to disappear into myself
If you could choose one superpower what would it be?
Invisibility
Without a doubt.
I feel invisible anyway
Cross your arms
Close your legs
Look like a lady
I feel like no one notices me in class
On the street
At the party
You’re being too loud
Entering the space of thick, foggy air
I can taste it
Flowing through my throat and filling my lungs
Why are you so quiet?
If I speak now the guy in the back of the class who never
participates until he feels personally attacked when no one
even knows his name will scream not all men
How come you let them talk to you like that?
Stand up for yourself
My deep skin shines during golden hour
My hair reaches up to the sun like a tree
I don’t have that luxury
Holding my tongue and keeping my legs crossed
is why I get to wake up another day
Stay corrected.
Unruly Bodies 
Damn!!! Those last few lines (stanzas?) really moved me- specifically, “Holding my tongue and keeping my legs crossed / is why I get to wake up another day”. That speaks so clearly and strongly to the constant threat that many communities face, and to the everyday changes we must make in order to prevent harm. My skin color has allowed me to live a privileged life, however the intersections of my gender identity, sexual orientation, and “Otherness” have still created barriers for my life- and my safety.
There are some ways in which I feel I can perform my identities safely, but this really depends on my environment and company. This post reminds me of discussions I’ve had with my partner about certain bodily decisions I- or other people- make, including refusing to wear a bra, declining to shave, piercings, haircuts, outfits, and other appearance choices. His argument is that the safety of myself- and others- should be the #1 priority. This essentially communicates that living a safe life is more important that freedom of expression and identity.
I can see his perspective and concern, however I often feel empowered by the political statements I am expressing with my body. Your piece reminds me that I have the privilege to push the envelope a little more, due to my whiteness- and it makes me realize how much of my life I still do not have control over, as much as I think i do (ie. I only have the bravery to speak out with my voice or body in communities where I feel I won’t be harmed).
I really appreciate this post, thank you so much for sharing!
Didn’t have to call me out like that haha. I do relate to a lot of the poem. Feeling invisible, feeling like I would be attacked for voicing my opinions, or silently judged. It also is applicable to my difficult speaking out as a trans woman, specifically on the subject of being trans. Despite wanting to fight for my rights, I find it so difficult to speak out given what is currently happening across the country.
This post really hit me where it hurts. The repetition of being told to “cross your arms, close your legs, look like a lady” felt so suffocating, and I think that was the point. The way you connected invisibility to survival was very moving, because it shows how what looks like “silence” from the outside is actually a form of protection. I know what that’s like from a personal standpoint and I applaud you for sharing your story.