Self Diagnosing…

Ah yes… the internet, where one can express themselves and share opinions about worldly topics BUT it comes at a price. Now Gen Z is the first generation to have grown up with the creation of most screened devices that we have today (phones, laptops, etc) and I can fairly state that I do not recall a time that I was never in front of a screen of some sort and I don’t see it as a bad thing.

It’s common sense essentially not to outright disclose any personal information to the world and the same goes for what comes out of our mouths. I’m talking about controversial opinions and commentary (yes, I’m looking at you Reddit user0987q3275 lurking about). It’s all well and good and quite wholesome when the internet bands together to create memories or help each other and educate any users. Now here’s the tricky part; the thing is, never believe everything on the internet. Do your own research if you really want proper information (I feel like this is a necessary reiteration…) but there are two sides to this.

Take TikTok for example; there are thousands if not more users using the platform for their own uses whether its to educate, vlog, entertainment, etc. There are hundreds of videos of viral dances, to music video promotions to cat videos BUT there are also videos that shine light on different awarenesses (mainly of mental health and conditions). People just love to showcase themselves of what it is to be autistic, or have OCD or anxiety which is completely okay but going back to ‘don’t believe everything on the internet’ should always be present in the back of your mind. Yes, bringing awareness to different health issues is amazing at spreading the word, but the internet is so buggy in the sense that people love to take advantage of that and use it for their own plight.

There are so many videos showcasing ‘what it is really like to have depression’ or ‘a day-in-the-life of someone who actually has ADHD’ and most of the time, it’s true. But there are also people who fake diagnose just to get views or even spread false information and even go as far as to self-diagnose themselves without professional tests (getting tested and the stigma behind that is a whole other topic but that will mayhaps be a later post-). Spreading false information and disguising oneself as a mental health disorder is absolutely absurd and hurts other people more than it hurts the creator.

“My” Body

I don’t know if it’s just me but whenever I see families playing with their kids on the swings, or kids running around on the playground goofing off just being kids, I am constantly reminded that ‘I’ as a female and socially and ‘biologically’ obliged to give birth to the next generation because only female can give birth (I think it’s obvious…). Now don’t get me wrong, kids are great; they’re lovable, cute, and small and I’ve been told that being a parent is very rewarding (If you can’t tell already, I’m giving anyone who told me that a side-eye). But, I don’t think our generation (GenZ) was meant to birth future generations, at least, not when our parents hoped we would.

Now, this is all coming from a 2nd gen who’s family came from India on a work visa so my parents and my grandparents all grew up on a very traditional standard, which isn’t a bad thing but it’s difficult to explain to your parents why you don’t want to get married at an early age and start a family. I’m still a sophomore in college but I still feel the looks and the indirect pressure that my mom and dad’s side of the family give to not only me but my other female cousins as well. My parents and my grandparents grew up in an era where the cost of college tuition was cheap (most of the time, females didn’t even go to college), and finding a home was never the problem (in a traditional Indian home, the wife usually lives with the husband’s family and cares for his parents and lives with them and in American, housing was pretty affordable). People were more dependent on their own family and raising one rather than exploring careers and making money to pay rent and food for the week. I get looked down upon when I tell my grandparents especially, that I do not want to depend on my husband/wife/significant other (if I ever get one that is) and want to simply enjoy my life and my career without the distractions of looking after my family. It’s not that I don’t want a family (and I’ll look after my parents when they get old) but I don’t want to make the choice between my career and my family, I simply wouldn’t be able to make that sacrifice for either.

I’m a bit too young to start a family, in my opinion, because I have mouths to feed (yes, plural all for me), tuition (doesn’t help that I don’t work at all during the school semester), and I’m too afraid to even have intercourse. Birth control pills, protection, hospital bills, a literal child first- off, everything costs money (and frankly, I’m not even old enough to get my tubes tied). The whole idea of pregnancy just scares me and it’s not something I want to go through. I’m not saying it’s a horrible experience as it’s quite the opposite but personally, I don’t want to give birth and have kids even if I’m financially (and mentally) stable. I’m sure most people, if not all listen to the news about what happened with Roe v Wade; even though it was overturned, as a female, I am appalled and frightened of what could possibly happen to me if I get pregnant and don’t want a kid. Not only that, I get treated differently based on my skin, my gender, my age and, how I present myself. If I can’t put my full faith into society and expect them to help me in times of need, that’s a toxic relationship I don’t want to be in. And thankfully people are recognizing that there needs to be a change in the way we treat each other because at the end of the day, we are all still human. At this point in time, what I do with my body and my persona, isn’t even up to me. It’s “My” body.