Author: zencat0601

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Fed Up With Facebook

“Does she seriously think that she looks good???? Yuck”

“It’s like those ladies at the beach or pool who wear bikini’s and their fat it bulging out and yet they think they look good! Good enough to appear day after day like that! Ladies, think of how many eyes you are hurting!!! Lol.”

“She looks so ridiculous…cowhide, leather, beef jerkey, lost at sea…exactly. Attractive…NOT!!! She truly looks like she is in her sixties. Whether she actually brought the child into the tanning bed or not, she is a terrible role model. She needs some psychiatric help to get over that obsession with tanning.”

Although I am not the biggest fan of perpetuating harmful ideas in order to make a point, I am just about to do that. Even though I find the above comments repulsive and upsetting, I think it is important to pull them away from the Facebook context and to put them on here so that our blog readers can consider what they have been seeing on Facebook.

The above comments are in regards to the recent story about the mother who had her young daughter use a tanning bed even though it is against the law. I will be honest, I do not know a lot about this story, perhaps I would have read more about it if I hadn’t seen these comments on Facebook bashing her. I am not defending her actions, but I also want nothing to do with condemning her either, I don’t know her.

However….

If I were to take the route of acting like I know something about this woman, I would say that it does appear that she has some sort of disorder, maybe an addiction. If we look at the story through this perspective I wonder if these people who made the above comments would be saying the same kind of things. Let’s replace the addiction of tanning with alcohol. Would this public speculation even make sense anymore? Because of the physical marker of this disorder, people feel that they are able to openly comment of the “unsightly” nature of it. Then again, maybe these same people think alcoholics are disgusting too. The physical aspect of this disorder mixed with the chance to criticism a woman in her role of being a mother has created a Facebook freak show frenzy. How about we all do ourselves a favor and think before we post?

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October Baby

 

Recently my dad asked me if I would like to go out to dinner and a movie with him and I was touched! I thought it was sweet of him to want to spend some time together. Little did I know what I was in store for. When I asked my dad what movie he would like to go see he said there was a movie out that he had been wanting to see, so I just agreed not knowing what it was, thinking whatever it was it couldn’t be TOO bad, but I was completely wrong.
When we got to the theatre he asked for two tickets to October Baby, I had never heard of it. My dad and I settled into our seats in the nearly empty theatre. As the movie began I could tell it was going to be sappy, melodramatic, and a real tear-jerker for those who could connect with the message of the film. I also quickly realized that it was a Christian Pro-Life film.
The film tells the fictitious story of a Christian girl in college who discovers after having health issues that she is the product of a failed abortion. She learns that her parents are not her biological parents and she was adopted. The main character has a difficult time coming to terms with this and goes on a road-trip with her quirky and hip friends to find her birth mother. She is able to find her birth mother after meeting a nurse who used to work at the abortion clinic and remembered the day of the failed abortion. The nurse tells horrific stories of what would go on at the clinic and there are many tears. When the main girl confronts her mother she denies being her mom and in the end the main character writes her a note letting her know that she has “let go” and has forgiven her. Also at the end, you see that the nurse who used to work at the clinic now works in the Labor and Delivery Unit in a hospital. A happy ending for all…
Just when I thought the torture was over, a video of an interview with the actress that played the birth mother started to play during the credits. So of course my dad wanted to stay to watch that. She basically said that she felt that this role was perfect for her because when she was younger she had an abortion and through playing this role she felt some closure. She also felt like she was doing her part to help other women from making the same “mistake” that she did.
By the end of this film I was furious. My dad is Christian and although I was raised Catholic I made my dad aware that I was not religious back in high school. The issue of religion (and politics) have created a large barrier in our relationship. So as the film ended and he asked me if I liked it, I was angered, how could he think I would enjoy this movie? Does he know me at all?  I told him that I really hated it. He then called me a week later asking if I had thought about it and liked it anymore. I answered, “No, Dad. I still really hate it.”
What I found problematic with this film is the fact that it was basically instilling false fears into peoples minds about a sensitive subject that is already under attack politically. People were walking away from this film feeling validated in their viewpoints against abortion and women’s rights. Does my dad now think that failed abortions happen all the time? I am not trying to imply that this never happens, it does. But is it really something that needs to be embraced into the anti-choice movement? Also, I believe that if access to safer abortions were increased in the first place this would not be a problem to consider at all. This option of course was not considered in the film though. Instead, they simply vilified the birth mother and portrayed her as a vein,s elf-interested lawyer who has chosen to turn her back on her daughter. Even though the women who played the birth mother has gone through the experience of getting an abortion in real life and should understand the hard decision it can be, she chose to accept this portrayal.
Needless to say, before I ever accept another offer to go to the movies with my dad again, I will thoroughly research the film.

 

Here is the link for the film’s website. On there is the video of the actress discussing her abortion that played during the credits. The video is called “October Baby Stories: Shari”      http://octoberbabymovie.net/#

 

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Orgasm During Birth…What?!?!

http://youtu.be/8EQ_-irO50w

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So I came across this video when someone posted it on Facebook a few months ago. The video is a clip of a newscast about women who have experienced orgasms during child birth. The idea of experiencing pleasure during a process that has been portrayed to be the most painful thing a woman can go through is strange and confusing to me. How can birth be so painful to some women, but pleasurable to the point of an orgasm to other women?
    My first reaction was that I was sort of grossed out when I thought about the idea of my own mother having an orgasm while she birthed me. My mother actually had an awful experience with labor, she was given too many drugs accidentally, causing her to lose all feeling in her body. If my mom and other pregnant women could have better experiences I am all for it. About 99% of births in the U.S. are not in a hospital, yet we rank 28th in the world in infant mortality. The hospital setting is no more safe than home births. So why not have a birthing plan that allows you to be in the comfort of your own home, and possibly give you an orgasm? Of course, pregnancies with complications need to be more monitored and may possibly require a hospital birth.
    Ultimately, these are personal decisions that need to be made by each pregnant woman for herself. I still think it is a bit strange to get pleasure from the baby leaving the birth canal, but that is just my opinion.

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Making “Private Parts” Public

Over the summer I was an intern in the gardens at an intentional community called Heathcote. Intentional communities are essentially communes but the members do not have a shared income or business, so the members have outside jobs.  I instantly felt at home with the members, a group of older radicals and hairy second-wave feminists. One Saturday evening  the community was hosting a hot tub party in their handmade cob hot tub that sits over a fire. Although I was not interested in getting in, considering it was the middle of the summer and extremely hot, I was interested in attending the party to enjoy some conversation and vegan marshmallows. The party was taking place about a 10 minute walk through the woods from where my room was. As I approached I started to notice something was odd, everyone in the hot tub was naked.         I was stunned. These people I had gotten to know so well through everyday interactions were now baring it all in front of me. Going into this internship I was not expecting to see my boss, the intern coordinator, naked. My own reaction to the nudity of the community members was surprising to me. I needed to analyze why I felt so uncomfortable about this.
My first thought was that I felt uncomfortable because no one has warned me in advance that clothing was optional, and perhaps they should have. But, what was the real reason for my discomfort? The human body itself is simply raw material, however it is also packed with meaning given by society. The body is sexualized; society has created a framework in which certain body parts are not to be shown to the public. Even in more enclosed and safe environments, like the one I was in, to many is thought to be eccentric. Sexualized body parts are labeled with words like “private” and are expected to stay that way unless that are being used for arousal.
Something many young people rarely see is a naked average-sized body, imperfections, cellulite, and all. When “plus-sized” women are shown in the media, like in the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty,  the images of the body are distorted with airbrushing, thus creating a false idea of what a “real” body looks like. Because of my instilled sexualized associations and my lack of experience in seeing what real naked bodies look like, my experience at the hot tub party was an awkward one.