The guy I went to prom with called me a waste the day I came out to him. He looked me in the eye and said this with a smile on his face as if it what he were proud of what he just said. This wasn’t the last time something like this had ever been said to me. On multiple occasions I have been called “selfish”, “unfair”, and “a waste” by a number of men because of my sexual orientation. And on every one of these occasions I ask them all the same question, “Why?”. Because every time something like this is said to me I need to know why all these men think that if I’m not using my body to pleasure them in some way I’m not doing my womanly duty or that I’m wasting myself.
Most of these men I’ve encountered seem to forget that at the end of the day my body belongs to me and that I can use it in whichever ways I want or not use it at all. So I ask them “Why” because I need to know why all these men think they have the right to ask me to change.
So this guy that I have been friends with for about a year or so proceeded to try and get me to “change my mind on the matter” as he continued to repeat this word “waste” over and over agaim. ” You’re pretty and you ahve a nice body. Even if you don’t like me like that, you could always find another guy. Don’t waste yourself on some girl.” He said this to me as if what he were saying was okay, as if I were meant to agree with him. Because of course if my body isn’t being used for the benefit of a man I become useless.
Unruly Bodies 
I really liked that last sentence.
I agree with blondecoffee89. Typically when men criticize my sexuality, they’re just upset over the fact that I won’t sleep with them, not that I’m doing a disservice to the entire heterosexual male population. This reaction to your identity is an interesting reflection on the intersection between misogyny and homophobia.
It’s incredible how men so often believe that they are entitled to use women’s bodies, and when a woman’s body is declared by the woman to be off-limits, men react as though someone took away their favorite toy. I would argue that this mentality of a woman’s body being a “waste” if it is not used in the way that a man wants it to be used ties into rape culture in a big way.
I know things like this are said to people all the time, and I still can not wrap my head around the arrogance and presumptions a person must have in saying such words. Then again, I can not wrap my head around people telling other people what to do in most cases, especially when it has to do with bodies that do not belong to them. I think this post brings to light so many things we see in our culture in regards to sexual orientation, sex, and gender.