In 4 days I will not have had a cigarette for 11 months.
It’s funny because my quit date ended up being January 1, 2013, but it wasn’t my New Year’s resolution. I actually woke up on the morning of 2013, smoked a cigarette or two, and started to feel achey and fevery and generally very grumpy. I thought it was just because of the festivities from the night before. As the day progressed, it became apparent that what I thought was a hangover was in fact the flu.
Oh man did I have the flu. I was in bed for 4 days. I went through 2 bottles of Nyquil. There were times that I honestly didn’t think I was going to make it. When I started to be able to sit up, and eat, and talk, I had the thought that I could use a cigarette.
I had been smoking at least a pack a day for about 2 years. I had tried to quit multiple times, but never made it more than a whole day. But after my 4 days of hell, I had already made it through the peak of the nicotine cravings. So physically I had pretty much beat the addiction, but mentally/habitually I had a lot of work to do. A few of my roomates stll smoked, and so did my boyfriend. So I had to smell it, and oftentimes be surrounded by other people smoking. This timetable of quitting benefits was my go-to reminder of why I was quitting.
For a long time I didn’t go to parties, didn’t drink, didn’t do a lot of things because I was scared I wouldn’t be able to not smoke.I realized that I smoked to feel less anxious, smoked as a substitute for eating meals, smoked as a way to deal with social anxiety. I smoked for so many reasons. And it’s still hard when my boyfriend lights up a cigarette next to me. It’s still hard to be in a room full of smokers and feel like I wanna puke cuz I’m so socially anxious. Quitting continues to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
But so far, I’ve made it. I haven’t had a cigarette in 11 months, and that makes me feel like a total badass. To this day, quitting smoking is by far the coolest, best, proudest accomplishment of my life. I don’t normally tell people how to live their lives, but if you smoke, I would encourage you to quit as well.
Unruly Bodies 
I want to commend you on quitting. It is extremely difficult for all of the reasons you mentioned but it is so totally worth it. I lost my step-father last year to lung cancer. He smoked for over 50 years and made a few failed attempts at quitting. He was “totally healthy” until one day he went to get a checkup and the Dr found something strange. They were still confirming that it was cancer when he died a month later. I really hope that you are able to “stay a quitter”. Every day will be a battle, I’m sure, but the benefits outweigh the risks. Best wishes to you.
You are so inspiring–in a thousand ways, but especially here. I always think of you as my quitting-smoking guru–that is, once I get there. Right now I’m smoking. Especially smoking away my social anxiety.
But, to know someone as incredibly badass as you has made that move and is so proud in the wake of that tough habit is really encouraging. And, when I am ready, I know you will be such a primary source of solidarity and encouragement.
I’m really glad that you quit! I know coming off of substances really sucks. The only time I smoke now is if I’m nervous at a show, I’ll try to start up a conversation by asking for a lighter and then … read a book I brought with me. Reworking habits is definitely the hardest part for me (not that the physical side doesn’t suck too).