Why are people so afraid of hooking up, dating, or being involved with fat people? 

Let me start off by apologizing for that title. I didn’t mean to deceive anyone into thinking that I was participating in fat-shaming culture. But hey, you’re reading this right now, right?

Being a fat woman myself, the dating game was always very hard for me. All of the people that I have crushed on have told me the same thing ever since I was in 4th grade: “Cici, you’re pretty, but I don’t like fat girls.” When I hooked up with a guy my senior year of high school, he told me that he “always wanted to know what it was like to bang a fat girl.” (A fetish that I am not even going to begin to TRY to understand.) I remember when I first got my tinder account, and I would post strategically taken selfies to make myself appear thinner than what I really am. When I finally got a match and we decided to meet, he was very disconnected from our talks, and he never texted me back. (But I hear he got back with his ex so good for him!)

Why are people so against dating or having sex with fat people? Is it our squishy bellies? Our chubby cheeks? Our adorably chunky thighs? Or is it the “fear of fat” that our society has?

I remember a time in particular where a friend and I were getting lunch, and this fat man came into the restaurant. My friend looked at him like he was an insect that needed to be squashed. When I asked her what she was looking at, she replied with that ever so cliche “Well… I’m just worried about his health. No one should be that big…” Yeah, needless to say I did go on a long rant to her about her problematic views.

The average person does not care about the health of a total stranger. I bet when they see someone smoking, people don’t think “Aw… but he’s gonna get lung cancer.” or if they see someone drinking at a bar, they don’t suggest that they “need to watch their liver….” Why is it that people only care about a stranger’s health when that stranger is fat?

What’s almost worse is that when fat people show confidence in their bodies, they are shamed further. People claim that these people are encouraging obesity and promoting unhealthy bodies. However, it is important to mention that just because someone is fat, that does not mean that they are out of shape. On occasion, I have also been told that I am “pretty cute for a fat girl”. Yeah, that is NOT how you pick up someone, guys. Why must pretty and fat be mutually exclusive? Why can’t someone be attractive and fat? Or be attractive because they are fat?

Upon my writing of this blog post, I found this website that had an article called “Why Fat Girls Don’t Deserve To Be Loved“. I don’t even need to tell you what its about to make you feel a little angry. One of the points they discuss is that “men need to stop validating fat girls with their dicks….”

Yeah, I admit, I chuckled at that one. Mostly because of the ridiculous assumption he makes that fat girls, or just girls in general really, need a penis to feel validated. In the article, the author goes on to suggest that fat girls are “vermin”, “sluts”, and “unpleasant.” No way could this article have ANY positive reviews, right? Wrong. There were people who not only agree with this article, but rejoice in it!

This kind of toxic, and disgusting thinking is the kind of thinking that causes people to have eating disorders, fall into depression, or commit suicide. To assume that if you are above a certain size that you don’t deserve love or sex is a harmful and elitist viewpoint to have. In a world were fat people are criticized for literally everything or fetishized even, how can a fat person make it?

So in conclusion, fat people deserve just as much love (and/or sex!) as any thin person. Because fat is just as beautiful, just as handsome, just as attractive, and just as sexy as any body type out there.