When I was born, my mother was so happy to have had a girl. I was quiet, shy, and the ideal “dress me up-baby doll” (about 2 hairsprays away from Toddlers & Tiaras ;p)… She would dress me up everyday in frilly little outfits wherever we would go. It made her happy and I wanted nothing more. This lasted until I was about 7 years old, then I began spending time with the boys in my family (brothers, god-brothers, stepbrothers). With that, the time came when I wanted to break away from the frilly clothing finally, so I mirrored the same sense of style and mannerisms the boys did, just trying to fit in. I felt like it came so naturally to me being like them, but of course society has to step in at some point and set the gender roles straight :/…
Entering into middle school (and even into high school) only made things more confusing, and I continued to struggle to find my true self while fitting in at the same time. My body was changing and I was starting to care about what kids at school thought of me, I wanted to blend in. I felt I had to say goodbye to my tomboyish ways and tap into my younger girly self, which I was reluctant to do because I knew boys and girls would think of me differently. Sure, I had an extremely feminine mother, but growing up around boys only made me roll my eyes at the way men looked at her. All of a sudden I wanted to be looked at the same way? I was expected to transform into some butterfly like other girls in school? I didn’t know whether I was joining the dark side or what, there was a lot of pressure from both sexes from a societal standpoint…
To this day I sometimes struggle with the same issues, questioning if I’m too “girly” or being “boyish”. I feel like I’ve found a balance for myself in the way that I dress and carry myself these days. So looking back at my childhood, I realize that most of my identity was chosen for me (as for most people). Its funny how our society’s visions are so ingrained in our minds that it makes us question our bodies…
Unruly Bodies 
I totally understand you. My entire life I was stuck between being my mom’s baby-doll, to my aunt’s tom-boy. I realized that I could find a happy medium, where I could please them both, but also myself. I tend to gravitate more towards the tom-boy life just because I find it a lot more fun, but I still have my days where I like to dress up and look pretty just for myself. It was hard growing up being caught in the middle, but I like where I’m at now.
I had a very similar experience growing up. If you were look at pictures of me growing up, it’s very obvious that there was a huge shift in the type of clothes that I wore. My mom also loved to dress me up in frilly and cutesy dresses. I didn’t really mind it either because at the time I just accepted what I was told to wear. Everything changed when I entered primary school. I still wore dresses and skirts in kindergarten but after that I just refused to wear any dresses and skirts. It was pants and jeans all the way. I even started to hate the color pink because I wanted to be “different.” I guess hating pink was me rebelling against gender norms as a child.