Last March I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, otherwise known as PCOS. When I heard this, I felt like not only were things starting to make more sense, but like I didn’t have to blame myself for my weight gain.
I have always been uncomfortable about my weight, due to hearing the people that I surrounded myself with complaining about their weight. Like everybody, my weight has changed throughout the years. What sets me apart from other people’s weight gain/loss is that I drastically loose and gain weight. Meaning that I would gain/loose 40 lbs in three months. I would never have any control over what would happen, everything that I was trying to do to maintain a regular weight wasn’t working. Once I found out what I had, my doctors and my parents helped set up a strict diet and exercise regiment that I have to follow in order to stay healthy.
Since the beginning of April I have lost almost 50 lbs. Recently people have been noticing it, or at least mentioning it to me. I work at Starbucks and the days that I work there I get around five comments about my weight. Always something like “Wow, you have lost a lot of weight! You look really great.” I understand that these comments are supposed to make me feel good about myself, but really they make me feel self conscious. Was I ugly before? Is thin the only way to be beautiful?
One thing that crosses my mind every time I receive one of these comments is “how do they know that I am loosing weight in a healthy way?” No one ever asks how I have lost it, they just assume that by having lost weight I am much healthier than I was before. I am actually much healthier than I was before, I am taking care of myself properly, but they don’t know this.
Knowing that I have PCOS has made my life much more manageable, I have been able to have a better sense of self and feel more in control of my body.
Unruly Bodies 
I have not heard much about PCOS, which is surprising when considering that it affects 1 in 10 women. Our society has a huge focus on being thin and maintaining a low weight(often unhealthy weight). Trends rise an fall in our society, and during this time the general standard of “beauty” is thinness. Obviously there is a lot more that has contributed to beauty standards, but during this time thin is in(corny but it rhymes). I often wonder what the US would be like if we valued a healthy body weight,the way we did in the past. And if it makes you feel better, I hope that you are healthy.
It’s strange how we’ve been taught that thinness is for optimal health, we’ll often mention concern for people who gain weight with the statement that they “just want you to be healthy”, and people will often turn a blind eye towards weight loss, specifically, the potentially negative and dangerous aspects of it. We’ll always say “Wow, you look great!” even when that specific process of losing weight may have been incredibly unhealthy…we don’t know that, but what’s frightening is that we’ve been taught to not be that concerned or curious about that.
Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for sharing. I needed to read this today.
My sister has PCOS as well and we have taken the same steps to make sure she stays on a strict and healthy diet to help with her weight. She has an up and down battle with her weight and some days i see happiness in her eyes, and sadness another but whenever i ask her she always says that having PCOS has taught her so much about her own body and it has made her who she is today. I thought this was a beautiful way to look at this disorder because a person shouldn’t have to fit the ideal standards of society by being “skinny” love your body the way it is and always remember you’re beautiful inside and out no matter what 🙂
My sister was diagnosed with PCOS a few years ago! I’m thankful that through this blog post you have raised more awareness towards it! My sister has her struggles from time to time but most importantly what she has taught me is that no matter what, she loves her body and that having PCOS has changed her life experience and has shaped her to be the woman she is today!