I’m sure most people are feeling the same at this period in time. So much is going on and you feel like you are going to explode. Whether it is from exams or too many emotions felt at once. You always try to not let it affect your relationships and your work, but sometimes it gets to be too much.
Anxiety
I am one of those people who have been able to suppress their anxieties, due to certain situations. I learned from a young age that people hate discussing their anxieties, so I would either let everything bubble up and then lash out eventually or just leave those thoughts and feelings aside until I actually had to face them.
It’s like my mind hates me. I want to laugh and cry at the same time. I am constantly overthinking things and I feel trapped within my own mind.
Only recently has it started affecting my work. I ended up throwing a tantrum in the middle of a rush, while I was on the floor, because so many things were piling up in my mind. My coworkers were concerned about me, but they just assumed that I was on my period.
I know that there are better ways to release these anxieties, but for now this seems to be working. Talking it out also seems to work, however finding trustworthy people is hard. Which that in itself is one of my anxieties – finding someone to trust with even just a little bit of myself.
Unruly Bodies 
I completely understand where you’re coming from with this. I have been an extremely anxious person ever since I could walk. I had learned how to suppress my feelings and thoughts as well, for the most part, but there were plenty of explosions when I was a toddler. About a year ago, I just started to become really anxious about everything. I even went to my doctor and she told me that if I couldn’t get myself under control, I would have to take medication for my anxiety. I was terrified of being 18, on the same meds as my 46 year-old mother, so I learned how to cope with my anxiety. I did many things, like talk to people, write my fears/feelings onto a sheet of paper and ripped it up, and I even developed a “life is too short to be stressed, just go with the flow” type of attitude. I felt like a lot of these strategies seemed to help me, so I have continuously used them during my toughest times.
I can understand the high anxiety that is felt. Its true, people don’t like sharing about their own anxiety much because it is viewed most of the time as “unable to properly function” or “unstable”. Its more common than we think though because so many people choose not to talk about it. That’s how our society is structured, we always have to be on our “A game” and never breakdown in front of others (as we have talked about in class) Its also very difficult to find those who will listen, I know. We are only human though, we can’t contain ourselves forever.
I also wrote about anxiety. I struggle with saving face in front of family and friends in moments of panic or anxiety, or letting my anxiousness show. Because the feelings come quite frequently and I’m not sure if a lot of them would be able to handle it. I think the struggle with anxiety is finding a balance within yourself (at least for those that aren’t taking medication for it). Work is a big source of anxiety and stress for me as well and I’m finding ways to deal with it and tell my co-workers how to react to me when I start to feel this way.
I have always been anxious, and even having experienced episodes of anxiety, I still don’t always believe I am such. We learn how to bottle it up, ignore it, forget it and pretend it never existed, so as to fit into “normal” society. We find ways to smother it, or deal with it, but the stress will always come back to us, always attack us when we are most vulnerable, and leave us gasping for air, and then we have to get back to life as soon as possible, because we have obligations to fulfill.