I’m carrying a relatively heavy box, but its weight is nothing I can’t handle. However, perhaps I showed some sign of strain that would cause this man to come over to me and take the box. He asks if he could be of any help, and like a reflex, I didn’t even think about it before handing it over. He asks me where I want him to put the box.

I think to myself that I wouldn’t have to explain where I need this box if I was carrying it myself, but whatever, I’ll just instruct him about where it needs to go. After he sits down the box and walks away, I think that there’s no way that I looked like I was struggling. The box wasn’t even that heavy. And then it hits me – he assumed I couldn’t handle it because I’m a woman. Because I have breasts, and visually appear to be a woman, he felt it was best that he should do the heavy lifting, instead of the “frail” female.

As much as I’m sure his intentions were genuine, and his offer came from a place of “chivalry”, it still kind of pisses me off. I doubt he would have acted the same if I was, or appeared as if I was, a male. That’s the part that I find the most frustrating. It made me think of how disability is used to exclude certain groups. In this case, my uterus was my disability that excluded me from being capable of being a strong individual. Like yeah, I may have two annoying boobs in my way, but I can still carry a fucking box.

Of course, my frustration is not all directed at this one man that thought he was helping me; however, this isn’t the only time I’ve been directly/indirectly told that I am automatically seen as weaker when compared to men. Especially, since I played a lot of sports growing up.

“You hit like a girl”, “That’s too heavy for you”, “Suck it up, stop acting like such a girl”, “You can’t beat me, you’re a girl”, “You won’t be able to hang with the boys”, “You can’t play with the boys, you’ll get hurt”.

*rolls eyes*