I’m getting tired of hearing that….
On October 31, 2015, my uncle died of Bone Marrow Cancer. His death prompted me to shave my long dark brown locks off and donate its for a good cause. Don’t get me wrong, it was a TOUGH decision but a good one.
However, my confidence was like a roller coaster (up & down). You see, I had always had long hair and extremely short hair (like a shaved head) was so new to me. Just as my confidence started to bloom (like my new curly hair) here comes society to shoot it down again.
Suddenly, it felt like everyone had something to say about my new look. Friends and family members commented some good but most bad. Then I returned to UMBC for Fall semester hoping for silence for once only to be told by several classmates I had classes with in the past.
“I liked your hair better straight,” he said. “You look better with long hair.”
BOOM…there went the last little bit of my confidence.
My mother is a biracial women of Korean and Black ancestry. My father…is Black. Before this journey of regrowing my hair I didn’t know what my natural hair looked like. In baby photos of me it was straight and then wavy as my toddler self aged. Throughout high school my mother would flatiron my hair straight because it was “prettier”. So I never really knew how my hair really LOOKED. Now, I’m a 22 year old woman with big and wide ringlets and even wavy pieces of hair growing out of my scalp…What an amazing transformation my hair has gone through, right?
I was on twitter the other night and I saw this post of a young black toddler crying because her mom let her naturally curly hair out. Even when her mom told her that her hair was beautiful she cried saying “I don’t want it out because curly is ugly.”
That young black girl got me thinking about society and socialization has taught black girls and boys about our hair. That its not pretty and the only way that it can be pretty is if its long and straight. REPRESENTATION MATTERS!
What I have learned from this journey is that I am beautiful with or without straight long hair. I think my Curly/Wavy afro is perfect the way it is. I think I am PERFECT the way I am. Curvy with a curly head of hair and a broken knee.
Everyday I BLOOM from the wounds where I once bled.
Unruly Bodies 
Thank you for sharing your story with us! You’re right, representation is so important. We as a society that doing such an awful job at portraying beauty as an inclusive and attainable goal. Remind ourselves that we are good enough as we are can be revolutionary and life changing, even if it does not always feel that way.
*snaps frequently* As a black women , you are always told that the straighter , the longer, the better. So we put ourselves through heat damage and other chemicals to achieve this look. One ignorant statement I use to say was ” I could never go natural, my edges are too nappy”. But this story goes way deeper than media. This is why I agree that representation is so important.
I love love love this Britany. I have felt with this on so many occasions. I even my mother has told me to stop wearing my hair curly all the time because it does not look done. I think straight hair is trying to look like “everyone” else, why can’t wee be proud of our natural hair!
Hey there! First off, I want to say that your journey with your hair resonated with me. I can’t believe people had the audacity to comment negatively on your beautiful decision to shave and donate your hair for a good cause. It takes a lot of courage to make such a change, and I applaud you for that.
The societal pressure and comments about your hair must have been incredibly disheartening, especially after you gained the confidence to embrace your new look. I can’t believe classmates had the nerve to make unsolicited remarks. It’s frustrating how people feel entitled to share their opinions on something as personal as your appearance.
Your realization about the impact of society’s expectations on how we perceive our natural hair is powerful. That story about the young black toddler made me pause and think about the harmful messages society sends about curly hair in the black community. Representation does matter, and I’m glad you’re challenging those damaging stereotypes.
Your conclusion about embracing your natural hair and recognizing your own beauty, regardless of societal standards, is incredibly empowering. Your curly/wavy afro is undoubtedly perfect, and your self-acceptance is inspiring. Keep blooming from those wounds, showing the world the strength and beauty that comes from embracing your true self.