I shouldn’t have to suffer in silence

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You want to know what growing up with depression taught me?

Depression has been a very hard disorder for me to deal with. When I was young I had no idea what emotions I was going through when my grandmother died of Parkinson’s disease. However, now that I am an adult I know exactly what it is I am feeling and what I am going through.

Still, explaining the fact that I suffer from depression to my parents hasn’t been too easy. Growing up as a Black child who suffers from a condition like depression it just seemed pushed off or like it wasn’t real. Many times as a kid I recall going to my mother and saying that I thought something was wrong with me but she would always reply “You’re just stressed out.”

Today, those words from her still apply.

In October, I received pretty bad news about my right knee in which the possibility of me being able to do all the things I like would be extremely limited. Having being on bed rest for three weeks after surgery I started to feel really hopeless about my leg because the pain I was experiencing had not subsided. I confided in my mother about my feelings of hopelessness and sadness and told her that I thought I really needed help.

Once again she responded with “You’re just stressed out.” but this time she laughed.

 

Regardless, I have decided to seek help on my own and I started going to therapy every week on Tuesday’s which has really helped me. I have started feeling much better about myself. Way better than I had in a longtime because I finally felt for once that someone was actually listening to my calls for help.

I HAVE NOW GONE FROM THIS

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TO THIS

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I just want to say that taking this class has helped me greatly to understand that its okay to suffer from a disorder like depression and that I am not alone. I have lost friends because they either coukdnt understand what I was going through. Also because I had isolated myself to the point that getting back to communicating with others has even been a challenge. However, through going to therpay and counseling I am much more conifent in myself and my friendships. Also, I feel like if someone really wants to be my friend they would accept all of me even the crazy depressive stages I go through. Goodluck with finals everyone and congratulations to the graduating class. Screen-Shot-2016-01-25-at-3.22.31-PM.png.jpeg

2 thoughts on “I shouldn’t have to suffer in silence

  1. thank you for sharing this. i really feel where you are coming from. when i expressed to my mother that i did not feel right and as i explained she would just reply “I dont understand what you mean, what do you have to be sad about” I am fortunate that my dad came to me and explained he dealt with the same things as i am and has been very helpful in getting me the help i need and him helping has also got my mom on board with helping too. being independent and seeking help for yourself is difficult but also necessary and I am happy for you that you are finally getting the help that you need. sending good vibes and happiness your way.

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