Bodies scare me. We need them to exist, but they require so much work to maintain and upkeep. Between the mental, emotional, and physical sides of things taking care of a body in an ideal world is a full-time job. When you add in trauma, mental illness, physical illness, difficult living situations, stress from jobs or relationships, and all of the other things that make it more difficult to maintain a body, the amount of effort and time needed can quickly become overwhelming.
The little amount of time in this class has helped me become more aware of the care my body needs and how taxing that is on me. Mentally, I require a lot of stimulation. I like to be doing things, most of the time more than one thing. Whether it be a game or puzzle while watching tv, listening to music while doing homework, or playing with my rubik’s cube during class; I need stimulation.
With online classes and mostly online work, maintaining this level of stimulation has become very easy. I can solve a rubik’s cube under my desk without someone noticing, I can turn on music as background noise while attending class, or I can draw/doodle without people nearby wanting to see. I welcome this shift to online for those scenarios, but the online shift does take away a lot of natural stimulation. I no longer get to walk to class, I don’t get to see my friends and have social interaction, I don’t get the experience of a new room for every subject.
Emotionally, I like being surrounded by people. I like quality time and words of affirmation. I have a lot of love that I like to spread out amongst my friends, so I don’t overwhelm a few of them. Seeing a lot of people helps maintain my mental stimulation, but I also like my alone time. Self-reflection and introspection is a big part of my life. Remaining connected with my emotions and how I’m feeling helps me to identify what I like, what I don’t like, and reminds me that I am not an emotion, I am simply experiencing that emotion.
The virtual shift and quarantine have made maintain my emotional health somewhat difficult. I have been given plenty of time for introspection and being alone, but when you’re forced to do that because there are no other options, things get difficult. Being alone is rough when you’re used to spreading out your love. I have not liked being at home with my family without other options. Now that I am back on campus and seeing a small group of my friends normally, this has gotten a lot easier. The opportunity to see the rest of my friends in a distanced way has also helped out a lot.
My physical health is an interesting one to talk about. Some days I feel weak and sore when I wake up, others I feel pumped and ready to go. Getting consistent sleep, eating at least two meals a day, and getting up to walk at least 2500 steps are things that generally make me feel better.
With the quarantine and social distancing, getting consistent sleep got easier in theory. Myself and a lot of others felt our world being thrown into disarray and struggled to get to sleep and stay asleep. I began staying up until 4, 5, or even 7am talking to my friends on video calls. Some nights I would fall asleep at 7pm because I hadn’t slept the night before. Now that I am back on campus, online classes have made getting consistent sleep much easier. The elimination of walking to class, although bad for my steps/activity, allow me to sleep until 15 minutes before my first class. Online classes also help my meal schedules as I can cook or eat during class without disrupting or feeling bad about it. The lack of physical classes make being active much more difficult as it is now something I have to put effort into just to maintain a base level.
Overall, the way the country is now treating the pandemic, acting as if it doesn’t exist anymore, has tricked my mind into relaxing some of the stress while still giving me the benefits of social distancing. It’s definitely a lot harder when you look at the big picture. For right now, this body will take the positives and focus on themself while keeping the big picture at distance in their mind.
Unruly Bodies 
Hi!
Your post encompasses a lot of different things our body goes through during this time. I wanted to comment on one aspect of your post–where you write,
“The virtual shift and quarantine have made maintain my emotional health somewhat difficult. I have been given plenty of time for introspection and being alone, but when you’re forced to do that because there are no other options, things get difficult. Being alone is rough when you’re used to spreading out your love. I have not liked being at home with my family without other options. Now that I am back on campus and seeing a small group of my friends normally, this has gotten a lot easier. The opportunity to see the rest of my friends in a distanced way has also helped out a lot.”
I can relate in the way where I highly value introspection and self-reflection. I agree that with the copious amount of time we have, it definitely leaves room for the time to do this without the normal daily distractions we would have. But to sit with your thoughts of introspection/self-reflection with no one to bounce off ideas off of, or to spread your love, your emotional health does suffer being isolated.
I think that what this means for me at least–is that I never valued the interaction I had before the way I should have. Humans are incredibly complex, with the ability to cognitively sort through our thoughts, and self reflect. But we are not meant to be deprived of social interaction for this long, and in this way. We naturally crave community, and to be close to others, and to be emotional and vulnerable with our bodies and minds.
I’m really glad you’re able to see some friends again, and to help heal your emotional health in that way, the best you can.
Thank you for your post!
Honestly, I have not taken the time to realize that social distancing and quarantine has made it easier to take care of my body for the most part as well. I have been able to be more physically active and I personally just feel much better after working out. Although I am not trying to have a certain image by workout, I do it to stay physically active and to feel good. Quarantine has also led to me eat healthier and get more sleep. However, for the social part, I truly do miss being with my friends and being on campus. Being one that likes to be social and be in a social setting but also have “me time”, I find myself struggling sometimes with being able to be social, and find myself having a lot of “me time” which can be good and bad.
Even though so many people have felt a lot of negative emotions associated with quarantine and social distancing (I have at times too), but I have had some positive feelings towards it. It has given me the opportunity to take time for myself and get to know myself a little bit more. Spending time with yourself can get lost sometimes when people are constantly socializing and engaged in activity. Being forced to stop and stay in place gave me a chance to dig deeper into how I like to spend my time when I am alone. I do agree with you that this quarantine did force me stop engaging in things that I like such as walking to class, seeing people when I pass by, socializing with multiple people at a time, etc. Luckily I was able to make some substitutions to help fill in the gaps. I liked how you mentioned the fluctuating sleep schedule. That was something that I dealt with during most of quarantine. It seemed worth it at the time but definitely took a toll on my body. This post was really relatable and I appreciated your perspective.
It is so hard to even whisper about “good” things related to the pandemic because it is so devastating on a human and economic scale, so I’m grateful for this post and comments that try to do just that. Here’s a link to an interesting website built by MCS professor Rebecca Adelman about what we have lost–and found–amidst the pandemic. Check it out and contribute! https://pandemicarchive.com/