First we can start with the physicality of it all. Dance, in its traditional ballet form, is an expressive but incredibly restrictive art form. In ballet you body goes through certain fixed movements, there being only about five arm movements in traditional ballet, fluidly. Being en pointe is painful, it pushes you stand taller and stand, literally, on your toes. You get cramps in your feet and legs.
Yet you feel beautiful and graceful
You put yourself in physical pain to push yourself past the previous limits, to do better, and be more flexible. When I danced, pointe was my favorite. I was not good at it but I still chose to do it, knowing how my feet cramped as I pushed my feet onto the block of the shoe. Dance made me feel the pain was worth the beauty and the grace I felt, it still is.
Dance is still restricting for me today because it is so freeing. I am unable to run and listen to music anymore without people judging me. I bring my dancing to my running. I know I look like a fool, but I enjoy it. I am so out of breath because of the performance I put on for no one but myself. When people see me they either walk faster and explicitly avoid me or start dancing with me, there is no in between. I do not think I have a preferred reaction, I dislike both really.
Even as dance is so personally freeing for me I feel judged as I do it in public. Peoples reactions and fact that they even bother me I think says something about society.
We give others so much power over ourselves in many cases, how we think, how we act, how we dress. I express myself through dancing in a capacity that they are not used to and they judge me or they try to join in. Either way I know that because of my actions I am unwelcome in the shared space, I have violated a certain rule although I have done nothing wrong.
We should not have to restrict our expressions to comfort others, but I find I do. Dance has showed me my actions, even though benign, makes other uncomfortable. Dancing should not make me feel like an outcast. Dance should free me but in the end it is a restriction.
Unruly Bodies 
This post is very powerful because it shows us that we shouldn’t think about what other people may think. Always be yourself and dance is a way for many people to show who they are by the different dance moves and choreography. Music and dance is a very special way of expressing how you feel. As you’ve heard, practice makes perfect! So no matter who the audience is, just be sure that you put in your full effort in the dance and forget what the critics have to say. I guess we live in a world were there will always be critics on everything you do, but the way I see it is to just ignore what people have to say and just keep doing you!
Leaving an activity you enjoy behind is always super tough, so I’m glad you’ve been able to incorporate dancing into your current life. I’ve never danced ballet but I have many friends who have and speak of it in the same regards that you do; extremely physically and mentally challenging while also being freeing and bringing them so much joy. Most of my friends haven’t incorporated it into their lives and miss it deeply, I’ll be sure to share this idea with them. It’s interesting to hear you talk about how much power we give others in our lives. This is something I struggle with; I go from times of not giving any care to what others think of me and how they perceive me to being hyper aware of how everything I do and say impacts or could impact those around me. It’s hard to differentiate between performing as someone you aren’t to “protect” those around you and just being yourself that some people might not like or see eye to eye with.
I enjoyed reading your post. It was very informative. I was shy and I wanted to meet people. I enrolled in a line dancing class in my neighborhood. Enrolling in my line dancing class has given me the opportunity to meet new people and travel to places I would only dream about. Also, line dancing classes have helped me to overcome my shyness.