Trigger warning: overeating
Lately I feel so bad after I eat. Eating as a chubby woman is stressful. I don’t get why I feel so bad about the way I eat just because I’m chubby, when there is skinny women who eat the same things I do freely. Whether it’s me obsessing over how much I ate or how what I ate effected me, its too much. I have a problem I guess. I overeat until my stomach hurts. I do it every time and I know I should stop eating. There’s a voice in my head that says stop eating and I ignore it all the time. I’m just so hungry and I enjoy eating so much. Sometimes I feel its the only thing during the day that makes me happy.
This has caused me to gain some weight of course. I also have developed Gastrointestinal Reflux Disease. I have constant acid reflux. Not only that but, my esophagus and stomach hurt often from how much I eat or because of what I ate. But for some reason I’m just so hungry. I know some of it is emotional eating. But I also have a hormonal disorder that causes me to gain weight easily while having trouble to lose that weight. This condition is called PCOS.
I genuinely want a better relationship with food but I don’t know how. The healthy choice is there but I chose the one that will fill my stomach the most. Lately I’ve tried to add more fiber and protein into my diet so I don’t feel the need to eat so much. And this has helped tremendously. I am also trying to listen to the voice that tells me to stop eating because I’m full. My body isn’t telling me that to hurt me or deprive me. I need to listen to my body more. I think one day I will figure it out one day but in the process I am going to try not to be mean to myself and to accept myself.
(If anyone has any tips to help with an undying appetite please comment haha.)
Unruly Bodies 
I can definitely relate to this. I think disordered eating is so common for our generation that no one sees how big of an issue it really is.
I agree with the protein & fiber thing so I recommend to try and see what healthy fats work for you/you’re body (like avocados, nuts, sunflower seeds, etc.). Making sure I have a colorful plate that consists of mostly (have wiggle room! food is meant to be enjoyed) whole foods helps me to stay full. If I do get hungry between meals I try to stick with fruits and I try to eat my meals slower (so I try to focus on each bite/chewing rather than being distracted by my phone/TV). Also carrying a big (like 34-40oz) reusable water bottle with me and making sure to drink before and after meals also helps me to stay full and get the daily recommended hydration I need. Exercise also helps me shift that emotional eating into an emotional release while lifting weights (or running but I hate cardio lolol). Journaling, meditation, and yoga also really help me to avoid emotional eating.
But aside from those types of answers you can usually find on Google, I think what helped me most is really believing that eating the way your body needs is an act of self love. When I overeat or eat things that I know will make my body not feel good (like too much dairy or greasy foods), I know I’m just indulging in what I want to do even if it’s not good for me. Same with not sleeping enough and not knowing when to stop working/just rest. For some reason I never viewed ignoring what my body *needs* as self-sabotage and a lack of self love even though it sounds self-explanatory now. I try to incorporate more peace and self love into my everyday, because self love is not just putting on a mask and taking a bubble bath once a month, it’s wholeheartedly loving yourself by *choosing* what’s best for you everyday.
I personally do not relate to this and may not have any good tips, but I am aware of the condition due to my cousin and best friend being diagnosed with it. Coming from someone who does suffer from an intestinal disorder, I do know what it feels like to be very excited to eat, eat the food, and then have to pay the consequence after with lots of pain and irritation. What works for me is to eat a little of everything. At first I used to only eat what I knew was safe for me, but I am a type of person who loves to try new foods. I slowly started to eat a variety of foods but ate them in smaller quantities, that way I was still able to eat and enjoy it but would not be affected by much pain afterwards. Not going to lie it is very hard because it requires a good amount of self control towards food. I do not know if that helped any but just wanted to share and hope you get some helpful tips.