Two months ago, my boyfriend and I adopted our first cat together. I have never owned a cat before, and was never really comfortable around them despite always wanting one. My boyfriend had had a family cat, but had not had much experiencing taking care of it as he took care of the family dog. We thought about waiting a few months, as we had just moved in together the month prior and knew owning a cat was a big commitment. But then, we saw him: Noodles. He was three months old and had been returned to his adoption agency as he was being bullied by the other cats at his home. I applied for approval to adopt, and was accepted the same day we first saw his picture. That very afternoon, we took him home.

Now, we knew that this was not the most responsible thing to do. We had been googling and talking to cat owners for a bit to get an idea of what to expect, how to take care of him, and the financial responsibility of his care. But when we held him for the first time and he fell asleep in our arms, we knew he was the one. You may be thinking, “Well, this seems pretty sweet so far. How does this make him an asshole?” and dear reader of this blog, I will tell you.

Noodles has grown quiet comfortable here in his new home, which we are both grateful for. He is also a kitten, so he is extremely playful. I want to share a list of the good, and the bad, my boyfriend and I have discovered while owning a cat.

The Good: the right cat will cuddle you endlessly, curling up on your body no matter where it may be. I’ve woken up multiple times with a three pound furry weight on my chest that I’m always too tired to move. The first meows he does in your presence will melt your heart into a puddle. His fur will be your new face mask, and his toe beans will rest in your fingers for hours. As an added bonus, our cat plays fetch AND murders bugs for us. I see this as a win-win. He explores on his own, he eats when he wants, and he poops in a box. Owning a cat is extremely easy if you have patience and love to give, and we have plenty. He will be your bestfriend on the worst days, and will follow you anywhere- even in our case, into the shower.

The Bad: reader of this post, do you enjoy sleeping peacefully at night in the comfort of your bed? Well guess what? It’s biting time, bitch. Say goodbye to ever laying under a blanket without teeth sinking into your feet. Own a cat? Invest in band-aids. You will find cuts you didn’t even know you had. While the biting it painful, the claws are worse. It is playful to have a cat nibble on you, but if you’re not expecting it then it is startling. You can no longer go to the bathroom in private, as your personal lap warmer needs to be there with you. If you get lucky, he’ll sit in your pants that are resting at your ankles instead of on your bare thighs. The loving meow now turns into your alarm clock, usually around 3 am and 6 am- hours before you even wake up. Learn what the meaning of “zoomies” is, and prepare to piss your pants every five minutes when the cat has them. Also, at least once in your life, your cat WILL fall into the shower with you. When it happens, you’ll know the meaning of Naked and Afraid. The cat and fear are your new bestfriends.

If you want my advice, adopt a cat. It will be one of the best, and most terrifying, choices you’ll ever make. He will be the love of your life, and the bane of your existence.