My whole entire life, the word “anxiety” has been thrown around and used in so many different contexts that I was never really sure of it’s actual meaning. 19 years later I begin to understand that the thing is that not everyone is the same when it comes to anxiousness and how it affects you. Everyone has their own story to tell.

My biggest problem with coping with my own anxiety I have recently discovered is that I always tell myself, “Someone has it worse”. And I’ve come to realize that what a lot of other people like to say when it became obvious I was struggling. After opening up to people about what I was going through, I began to realize that just because my problems may be less severe than others, they are still important. It was then that I was able to help myself get out of the downward spiraling hole I was entering.

So a little backstory for you guys. I am a sophomore here at UMBC. I am also a student-athlete. Growing up, I lived in a house with my huge family. Even if I wanted to be alone, which wasn’t like me, it was rare I got the chance. I then adapted to having all my family around so much that it was weird to even go away for a weekend with my boyfriend. Because of how close I was with my family, it made the transition to college so much harder. I had a very hard time my freshmen year balancing sports and softball while also struggling with a new routine and being away from all the people I loved. I began to have bad days worse than good and realized I wanted nothing more to be home with my family. It didn’t help that because of the pandemic, I wasn’t advised to see anyone outside of my team. My days consisted of going to online class, practice, and then to sleep. College is obviously a time in your life where independence comes into play, but I had to learn how to be on my own without an option. I couldn’t see my family and friends and it SUCKED. The school aspect transition was just as hard. I saw all my teachers on a screen and had no type of face-to-face interaction with them to try and make a relationship with them.

Skipping forward a month, I was able to learn how to help myself get out of the little fog I had hit. I started facetiming my family more often. I built a relationship with a teammate who is now one of my best friends. And I started doing things to keep me out of a continuous routine of being sad. I began to be more optimistic towards my situation but also taught myself that sometimes you go through rough patches and you’re allowed to struggle but never give up, because I promise you it will get better!

The moral of this story was not to ask for pity for myself or make anyone feel bad for what I was struggling with. The point was to emphasis that no matter how little or big you may think your problems are, they still exist and it’s important that you acknowledge them. It is okay to struggle and it’s sure as hell okay to not be ashamed of what you’re going through.